If I were a Duel Academy Student
by Matt's-Awesome-Too
Summary: As the title suggest, this is what would happen If I were a student at Duel Academy. Rated M because I wrote it! I like pie! Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Matt here, I was thinking about writing a Yu-gi-oh fic, so I decided to write the cards in my charecter's deck off the back.

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Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh, if I did the following cards would exist! Boo ya!

Shadow Alphabet Symbol (A-Z) x52

Shadow Dragon x1

Sunset Nightmare x3

Shadow Directory x3

Kageryu, Lord of Darkness x1

Shadow Solider x3

Shadow General x1

Binding Darkness x3

Yang, Destroyer of Hope x1

Kageyasha, Ultimate Dragon Paladin of the Apocalypse x1

Blade of Eternal Damnation x3

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That's all there is, but, like in the series, he will get cards for no reason that are extremely convenient for the exact situation. Anyway


	2. Chapter 2

Matt here: I may have changed a few names to avoid getting my ass kicked in school on Monday, enjoy! I like pie! Meeps!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and ...uh...Brogan is her own person. 

Matt was on the ship arriving at Duel Academy's island.

Matt: Uh... why did I have to get assigned to this universe next? The Order owes me or this! I don't even get any cool powers, just this deck of trading cards! Fuck!

Brogan, walking up to Matt: Shut the fuck up and explain to me why I'm here in a non-Inuyasha story!

Matt: Because! Pat is an author now so he can be in his own stories! Bruce is a doucebag, Ryan would be weird, Stacy might work, I fear Brendaya, Brenda won't leave me alone, and Everett is afraid of me!

Brogan: You sure it was ok to say most of your friends names in a row like that?

Matt, throwing a hentai picture of Sesshomaru on the ground: Just take that and leave me to the Order's business.

Brogan: What the hell is the Order?

Matt: Just take the picture and leave me the fuck alone!

Brogan then squealed and ran off the ship to the bathroom, picture in her arms.

Matt: Now, which dorm am I in? I'll ask that lady over there!

Matt then walked over to the ugly lady in blue.

Matt: Excuse me, do you know what dorm I'm in, miss!

Dr. Crowler: I'M A MAN!

Matt: HOLY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST!

Jesus, appearing out of thin air: You called?

Matt: Dude! This chick is a dude!

Jesus: DUDE! Your right! I gotta tell dad about this!

Jesus then took out his cell phone.

Jesus: Pops! You gotta check this guy out!

The clouds then opened up revealing a giant chicken.

God: WHOA! What was I thinking when I made him? This is messed up! Anyway, we gotta get you to your mom's house for the weekend or she'll be pissed at me again.

Jesus: What ev.

God and Jesus then disapeered in a flash of light.

Matt: So, what dorm am I in?

Dr. Crowler: NONE! You've insulted me and my diploma in duel science!

Matt: You can get a diploma in a child's game?

Dr. Crowler: Leave my island! Now!

Matt: What if I beat you in a duel? Then can I stay?

Dr. Crowler: A child! Defeat me, a brilliant tactician in a duel! Your on!

Matt: Cool! Should we get a table or something?

Dr. Crowler: What are you talking about? We play with hologram disks that magicly hold fusion monsters even though there is no space for them on the disk! (I've always wondered where they get them.)

Matt, putting on a cool black and orange duel disk: Let's duel!

Dr. Crowler, wearing that gay "duel coat" thing: I'll start off by summoning Ancient Gear Solider!

A retarded looking metal man appeared in front of Dr. Crowler.

Matt, looking at his hand: Uh... I'll play Shadow Directory, which let's me pick any Shadow Alphabet Symbol from my deck and put it in my hand! And I chose Shadow Alphabet Symbol "W"!

Dr. Crowler: That monster only has 300 attack points! What use is it?

Matt: THIS!

Matt then layed down his hand, revealing Shadow Alphabet Symbols "W", "I", "N", "E", and "R"!

Dr. Crowler: That just spells "Winer" that's not even how you spell winner!

Matt: Shadow Absorbson Vortex!

The letters all spun around each other creating a wormhole which sucked in the Ancient Gear Solider's armor, causing him to run away naked to fuck Crowler up the ass, but was sucked up into the vortex along with all of Crowler's life points.

Crowler: YOU BEAT ME!

Matt: Arn't you supposed to be dead? I thought this was a Shadow duel?

Crowler: No, now here are you Slifer Red clothes. I hope to duel you...

Suddenly, Brogan came running and crashed through Crowler, leaving a bloodly hole in his torso.

Brogan: I NEED MORE!

Matt: You killed him!...Good girl!

Matt then threw her his Slifer Red clothes.

Matt: Come on! We're in the Slifer dorm.

Matt and Brogan then walked to the Slifer Dorm.

Brogan, now in Slifer clothes: Where's the girls dorm?

Matt: I don't know? I don't think there is one.

Brogan: Wait... they're co-ed rooms!

Matt: Yeah, what's the problem with that?

Brogan: I could get raped!

Matt: Shut the fuck up, or I will rape you up the ass you fucking pinata!

Brogan:... I have no response to that!...Wait, if I'm wearing what Crowler gave you, what are you going to wear?

Matt: Duh! The kickass black trench coat I always wear! Geeze, what are you? Fucking retarded?

Brogan: Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Matt: Ah fuck!

Brogan: I was kidding!

Matt: Oh! Just for that, you not getting any lines next chapter!

Brogan, snapping fingers: Oh man!

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Yeah, Pat is an author now so I can't put him in my stories any more. I'll miss the fat lard. Anyway, REVIEW! Or I will kill everyone in your family, unless your related to me, in that cause I would just kill your friends. I like pie! Meeps! 


	3. Chapter 3

Matt here: Uh... enjoy. I like pie! Meeps!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and...uh...Brogan still won't sign the slavery agreement. Stupid bitch!

Matt and Brogan walked into the Slifer dorm. The full attention was on Brogan, who was wearing a guys uniform, they then looked at Matt, lacking a uniform. A Slifer Guy then walked up and high-fived Matt.

Slifer Guy: Due, nice!

Matt: Ya, I totally did her!

Matt then looked over to see Brogan angry as fucking Satan finding out that Ryan C-crest was getting sent to hell to fuck him up the ass as punishment for creating New Jersey.

Matt: I'm gonna get my ass kicked, aren't I?

Brogan nodded as the background behind her burst into flames.

Slifer Guy: Dude, your fucked!

Brogan then pounced on top of Matt, which would have been awesome if she also wasn't slapping him incredibly hard.

Brogan: I NEVER HAD SEX WITH YOU!

Matt: I thought I told you that you had no lines this chapter?

Brogan, stopping the pain: Sorry master!

Matt: Good! Now, put on this cat costume!

Brogan then slammed a frying pan into Matt's face.

Matt, wobbling: Can't blame a guy for trying.

Matt then fell unconscious on the ground. A Slifer with retarded looking hair went up tp Brogan.

Slifer: Is he ok?

Brogan: Ya, he's the main charecter, he can't die!

Slifer: Oh, cool, my name's Jaden!

Brogan: J-j-jaden? Jaden Yuki?

Jaden: Ya, that's my name. What's yours?

Brogan: It's Brogan.

Jaden: Cool, wanna duel?

Brogan: Sure...uh...hold on a sec...

Brogan then reached her hand down Matt's pants (You know very well I don't mean it like that!) and pulled out his deck.

Brogan: If I win can we do it?

Jaden, confused: What?

Brogan, putting on Matt's duel disk: I'll take that as a yes!

Jaden: CARD MATCH! Wait... that's Yugi's catchphrase! Get you game on!

Brogan: I summon...

Slifers: GET OUT OF THE CAFETERIA IF YOUR GONNA DUEL WITH DUEL DISK!

Jaden and Brogan, rubbing heads: Whoops!

The two then went out side to duel, while the Slifers followed, two of which dragging Matt's body.

Brogan: I summon Shadow Dragon in Attack mode!

A tiny black dragon appeared in front of Brogan.

Shadow Dragon: Yay! Matt! Your using me in a... your not Matt? Why are you using his deck?

Brogan: Shut up! I'm not gonna use my deck because it's in one of my 27 bags of shoes. (Yay! Random female stereotypes!)

Shadow Dragon: Fine!

Jaden: Cool move! I'll just throw down a face down and summon Elemental Hero Clayman in defense mode.

Clayman (You should know what he looks like.) appeared in front of Jaden, and a giant fucking floating card, too.

Brogan: He's such a good duelist! Uh, I play the field card Sunset Nightmare!

The night sky suddenly glowed orange as the sun magicly appeared.

Brogan: Sunset Nightmare allows me to create a Shadow Token for every monster on the field with "Shadow" in it's name!

Shadow Dragon's shadow suddenly became 3-dimensional and filled the monster slot next to it.

Brogan: I then us the magic card "Binding Darkness" which allows me to count a Shadow token as any monster need for a fusion, then preform it! And I choose to turn it into Shadow Slime! Those two then fuse to form... Kageryu, Lord of Darkness!

A giant kickass Dragon appeared that was black and had blades and cool stuff coming off of it.

Jaden: Whoa! Can't wait to beat that next turn!

Brogan: There will be no "next turn"! Because of Kageryu's special effect! If there are no Dragon type monsters on your side of the field, then I can attack you life points directly while nullifying your face down!

Jaden: How is that fair?

Brogan: I don't know, it's his card.

Jaden: What?

Brogan: Kageryu! HELL FIRE!

The giant dragon launched a giant flaming ball of black fire strait at Jaden.

Jaden: Awesome!

The ball the hit, wiping out all of his life points.

Brogan then threw Matt's deck and duel disk on top of his body as she pulled Jaden up to his room.

10 minutes later...

Matt, waking up: Oww! My head!... I miss anything good?

Slifer Guy: Well...

Brogan: OH JADEN! OH YES! OH, OH, OOOHHH! DEEPER! DEEPER!

Matt, jaw gaping: Brogan got cock before I got pussy? How can this be?

Chazz: Don't worry, there's still Alexis.

Matt: FUCK YEAH!

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So,... REVIEW YOU LAZY ASS MOTHER FUCKING READERS! What the fuck? Just fucking review! I like pie! Meeps! 


	4. Chapter 4

Matt here: I'm not sure how, but I managed to write a chapter that has more sex-related stuff then actual jokes, huh. Well, enjoy! I like pie! Meeps!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and a Nintendo Wii! Fuck Ya!

Matt awoke the next morning to the blaring loudly.

Matt, fumbling around for the snooze: Ah,... I hate Monday...huh...

Matt had found something, it wasn't the snooze button, it was squishy. A good kind of squishy, not like dog shit squishy, but a water balloon filled with warm pudding squishy. It felt so nice and oh so familiar. Matt, enthraled by this new squishy object, racked is brain for where he had felt it before. The alarm blared a few more times before the object shifted, and Matt starred in horror at the ceiling above his bed as he remembered where he had felt it before. He looked over on the other side of his bed to see a sleeping Brogan cuddled under the blankets with Matt's hand smoothly fondling her breast.

Matt, whispering, as not to wake his naked neighbor: FUCK! If I get caught, I WILL GET MY ASS KICKED! HARD! BY A PINATA! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Wait,... how the fuck did she get here in the first place?

(Flashback, paid for by Pepsi, because Coke sucks ass!)

Chazz: There's still Alexis, and PEPSI! WHICH IS WAY BETTER THEN COKE!

Matt: FUCK YA! And yes, I agree, Pepsi is way better then Coke!

Meanwhile,...

Brogan, sweating from intercourse and cuddling up to Jaden: Oh Jaden, I want to stay right here forever.

Jaden: Yay, but, ya see, Syrus and Chumley, want to get some sleep, and your just fucking annoying.

Syrus: YA!

Chumley: What he said! That is sooo not licious!

Jaden, getting out of bed: Shut your fat ass up Chumley!

Brogan, getting up with him: What are you doing?

Jaden, opening the door and pushing the naked Brogan into the September night: Bye, see you again if you want ot get your game on!

Brogan, screaming: I WANT TO GET MY CLOTHES ON!

Jaden, smirking: You know you just screamed that in a mostly guy's dorm, right?

Brogan looked around to see at least 9/10 of the light flick o at that very second.

Brogan: But I don't know where my dorm is!

Jaden, as he closed the door: Ask Matt, your fried with him!

Brogan, getting angry: BUT WAIT...

The door then slammed shut, leaving a butt naked Brogan in the cold as the doors began to be opened. Desperate, she ran to Matt's room down the "hall". She went to the door and prayed for it to be open. The nob turned with ease.

Brogan, thinking: Thank god Matt's to lazy to look his own door!

She ran inside and slammed the door shut and locked it behind her. She looked around and spotted Matt, asleep on his bead. She looked around for his roommate and noticed that it was a single.

Brogan, thinking: How the fuck does Matt get a single? Jaden has two fucking roommates for Christ sake!

Brogan's breathing soon slowed after the running and she felt odd. She looked down to notice that both of her nipples were hard as rocks.

Brogan, now rubbing her arms: Brrrr! How fucking cold is it in here?

She noticed a thermometer on the wall that read 42 degrees F.

Brogan, jaw dropped: HOW THE FUCK CAN HE SLEEP LIKE THIS?

Brogan then turned her attention to Matt after she realized she had just screamed that, but he just slept on through it.

Brogan: Screw it! It's warmer out there!

Brogan was about to leave when she heard the stampede of horny teenage boys stop in front of the door.

Leader: Ok, the naked chick is around here somewhere! Just check all the rooms and we'll find her.

Brogan just stood in fear as she heard doors being opened all around her. Suddenly, the nob to Matt's room turned, Brogan froze perfectly still. The door creaked open slightly!

Leader: DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK? THAT'S MATT'S ROOM!

Kid: So?

Leader: I we mess with him this late, he'll whoop our asses in duels! I heard he beat Crowler!

Kid: Whoa! Good thing you warned me!

The door closed and Brogan breathed a sigh of relief. But she wasn't safe yet, she could hear the crowd still searching outside, so she was stuck in the room until the got tired and went back to bed, (Which, for you girls, guys have a natural instinct to follow porn of any kind to the ends of the earth from the time they're 13 to 17, any guy will tell you the same thing, but the ages may be tweaked a bit.) which could be hours. She rubbed her arms vigorously.

Brogan, thinking: It's getting cold in here! I could!... no, Matt only has that one set of clothes... I guess I gonna have to... ugh!

Brogan pushed Matt onto the other side of the bed, careful not to wake him and risk him getting an eyeful. She then slipped quietly in between the sheets and snuggled up against the prewarmed blankets. She was concentrating on the noises outside when she felt Matt roll over, causing her body to surge with an electric like force when his arm slid onto her stomach. She was going to push it off suddenly and kick Matt off the bed, but three things stopped her: 1.) Her Pinata strength couldn't lift his arm while she was this cold. 2.) She didn't want to risk waking him, and 3.) She kind of liked the warmth on her previously frozen tummy (What, I was running out of synonyms for stomach)

Brogan, thinking: I'll just wait until he flips,...yawn..., again, then I'll leave and get my clothes from Jaden.

Brogan snuggled up against the warmth of Matt's arm, and feel asleep to the sound of the roaming crowd of horny teenage boys outside.

(Flashback End, Pepsi RULES!)

Which brings our story back to Matt. He was trying to slip quietly out of the bed, when, being a guy, he failed miserably, causing a sleeping Brogan to roll over and cuddle up against Matt's arm, and wrapping her legs around his.

Matt, crying: This isn't fair, she's right there! Naked and everything and I've got my morning wood! And if I do anything I get my ass kicked... but If I do nothing and she wakes up, I get my ass kicked huh...

Matt the showed a very sly smirk, contemplating the consequences for what he was about to do.

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Will Matt, The Author, bless the very crap he writes, write a really hot sex chapter next, or will he chicken out so that he doesn't get his at school on Monday? Tune in next time to find out on Dragon Ball Z!... I mean... If I were a Duel Acadamy Student! Review! I like pie! Meeps!


	5. Chapter 5

Matt here: Sorry I haven't updated for a while, my internets been kind a sucky. I also appologize for this chapter in advance, but I didn't want to get my ass kicked. I like pie! Meeps!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except me and Kara is a bitch! (P.S. Hug Patrol, your going down!) 

Matt was contemplating his next course of action next to a naked Brogan.

Matt, positioning himself at her entrance: Here we go!

He was just about to plunge in when he realized something that caused him to pause.

Matt: Fuck! If she's a virgin the pain might wake her up! ... Wait, she just fucked with Jaden, so... I'M IN THE CLEAR!

Matt was about to thrust his cock into Brogan's soft pussy when something happened.

..., knocking on the door: Yo Matt! Time for Duel Science Class!

The voice caused Brogan to shift over, launching one of her knees into Matt's crotch.

Matt, whimpering: Ow...

Matt then fell onto his side, riving in pain, as Batman changed back, into Bruce Wayne... wait... this isn't The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, scratch that last part.

Matt, getting back up from that severe pain: Ow, no pussy is worth this!

Matt was putting on his boxers when, suddenly, the Kool-Aid Guy, driving a red sorts car, smashed through his wall, knocked Matt, screamed "OH YEAH!" , and drove out the other wall.

Brogan, waking up on top of Matt's unconscious body: SCORE! HE"S GO A BONER AND EVERTHING!

Brogan, remembering she was a chick and not driven entirely by sex, like men are: ... wait... I can't do this,... it'd ruin our friendship,... damn,... and I was gonna ride him like a wild bull, too. Oh well, better wake him up, we got a Duel Physics Test today...

Brogan, realizing what she just said: Damn! What the fuck is with this messed up school?

She then looked around the room to find Matt's clothes in a pile of Japanese magazines and used tissues.

Brogan, grabbing the clothes carefully: Eww! Either he has a really bad cold or there was an article on cat costume.

Brogan giggled at her own joke, kinda sad when you think about it.

Brogan, slipping on Matt's white t-shirt and black jeans: Here you can deal with your boxers and trenchcoat until I get my uniform back... you awake... WAKEY-WAKEY, EGGS AND BAKEY!

Matt didn't move an inch, so Brogan slammed a frying pan at his head, shattering the pan in the process. ( Why does she have a frying pan, you ask? Shut the fuck up, it's my fucking story!)

Brogan: Damn, heavy sleeper... (devilish smirk) hehehe, this'll be fun.

Brogan uncaped a marker...

Later,...

Brogan, admiring her work: Brilliant, if I do say so myself. What else to do?...

Brogan's eyes landed upon Matt's katana, resting in the room's corner.

Brogan: YAY! I GETTA PLAY WITH MATT'S TOY! ( Not that "toy", ya sick perverts!)

Brogan was about to grab Matt's katana, when, the second her fingers brushed against it, Matt's eyes shot open.

Later,

Brogan, with one of those anime head bumps and big, glistening eyes: I'm sorry Matt-ey! I'll never, EVER, touch your sword again! Unless of course, ( Eyes getting sly) you want me too?

Matt, flaming eyes and satanic voice: GO GET YOUR FUCKING UNIFORM SO I CAN GET MY FUCKING CLOTHES BACK, OR I WILL FUCKING SHOVE MY ENTIRE ARM UP YOUR FUCKING ASS AND PULL OUT YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS ONE BY ONE!

Brogan, slightly aroused at the thought of anal stimulation: YES SIR!

Matt: Good, I'll meet you in front of the school.

And with that the two went off to start there first Monday at Duel Acadamy.

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Ya, anyway... the next chapter will be better if you review a lot! ... Just review god damn it! I like pie! Meeps! 


	6. Chapter 6

Matt here: Just a reminder for new readers, THIS ISN'T SCRIPT FORMAT! I simply use the key ":" as an abbriviation for the word said, and I'm too lazy to bother to put in quote marks. Also, when I get around to it, I will delete chapter 1 because it really isn't a chapter. I like pie! Meeps

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1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Brogan still won't sign the slavery agreement, damn free will.

Matt was waiting in front of the main building trying to pick up some Obelisk Blue girls.

Matt, still in only boxers: Hey, you wanna have wild car sex?

The Obelisk Blue girl slapped him across the face and stormed off.

Matt, sighing: Today's just not my day.

Matt was then slammed in the face with his pants and shirt.

Brogan, in her uniform: Hiya! Whatchya do'n?

Matt, still depressed: Just finished asking out every girl on campus, no luck.

Brogan, big anime eyes: Every girl?

Matt: Every human girl.

Brogan, snapping her fingers: Oh man!

Matt, looking depressed: (sigh) If only there where some other chicks I'd have better luck.

Matt was then drop kicked in the head by two teenage girls.

Girls, screaming: Good'ay Matt! Did you say chicks?

Matt: Ah fuck no! Not the Hug Patrol.

Brogan: Wait a second... good'ay... since when are you Australian stereotypes?

Kelly: Since Matt the Author, bless the very crap he writes, wrote it in that way.

Brogan: Makes sense, but wait, you have to be students to be on this island! You gotta go!

Syrus, running out of a bush: WHERE?

Matt: No, she said You gotta go.

Syrus, going back to his bush: Aw man.

Brogan: LEAVE!

Kaddy: Tsk, tsk, tsk. You shouldn't say that to your superior.

The two teenage girls then ripped off their stereotypical Australian outback gear, Matt's full attention was gained, to reveal two Obelisk uniforms.

Matt, sulking in a corner: It's never sexy cat costumes. ( Side Note: Even though I love chicks in sexy cat costumes, I'm terrified of actual cats. Weird, huh.)

A loud gonging bell rang throughout the campus.

Four teenagers outside of the building: SHIT!

They all ran inside to avoid... is there even detention at that place. Fuck!


	7. Chapter 7

Matt here:... not much too say... so uh... just read. I like pie! Meeps!

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Key for reading- : said"—" (There, happy now:P) 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and a jar of cookies. Yay! Cookies! (Quietly munches on cookies.) Begin the story!

The four teenagers were running their asses off to get to class on time.

Kelly: Fuck! Dr. Crowler's gonna kill us!

Matt, suddenly stopping: Huh? Dr. Crowler? I thought we were going to duel strategy class?

Kaddy: Ya, Dr. Crowler is the only actual teacher in this place.

Brogan: Well, he's dead.

Kelly & Kaddy, wearing sombreros and moustaches for some reason; Kay? ( Obviously, I don't speak Spanish.)

Matt: Yay, she rammed a hole through him or something after I kicked his ass in a duel.

Brogan: I did?

Matt: I don't know, I don't read my own fics.

Kelly: Fics?

Matt & brogan: Uh... let's get to class.

They the bolted through the door to class that conveniently appeared before them, then took their seats.

Matt, whispering to Brogan: Uh... so do we just sit here in silence all day, or what?

Brogan: I don't know, as long as he... HIDE ME!

Brogan the dived under Matt's part of the desk as Jaden walked into the room.

Jaden, wearing a tremendous amount of, how the kid's say, bling: Yo, yo, yo! Where my peeps at?

Jaden, noticing the empty seat next to Matt: Yo! My brother from another mother!

He then jumped over the tables, unfortunately killing a Ra Yellow in the process, and landed in the seat beside him.

Matt, slapping his head: Oh god no.

Jaden: Yo! Where dat hoe you wit?

Matt, patience snapping in half: FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD! YOU ARE NOT FUCKING BLACK, SO STOP TALKING LIKE YOU ARE!

Jaden: Whoa! Why you gotta spread da hate like dat? Don't make me play the race card!

Matt: WHAT FUCKING RACE CARD! WE HAVE THE SAME FUCKING SKIN COLOR!

JAden: What you talk'n bout? You're a cracker-ass white boy, and I'm a mother fucking GANG-STA! I'll pop a cap in yo ass...

Jaden then passed out. Syrus and Chumley stormed into the class.

Chumley: There he is!

Syrus: Oh thank Yugi!

Chumley, talking to Matt: Don't worry, he always acts like this when he's hung-over, what was he just acting like? Clown? Army Sgt.?

Matt: UH,... he was acting like a ghetto raised gang-sta.

Chumley: SHIT! THAT MEANS THE NEXT STEP IS...

Jaden suddenly rose up from the table, no wearing a feather boa and rhinestone pumps.

Jaden: How ya doing, big boy?

Matt and Chumley: AH! TRANSVESTITE!

Syrus, thinking: Why did my pants just get tighter? (Sorry, but since I'm in Yu-gi-oh country, there has to be at least one gay character, I mean, have you read any other Yu-gi-oh, they're all gay, so I normally stay away from here.)

Matt then threw a grenade at Jaden blowing him up and sending him into the ceiling. Brogan then climbed out from in between Matt's legs (You so knew I was gonna say that, don't be surprised.) and back into her seat.

Brogan, fixing her hair: So, uh, were's the teacher?

Suddenly, the back doors burst open.

Mysterious voice: I pity the fool who don't wanna learn?

Matt: AWESOME!

----End of Chapter----

(Yay! Sort of a cliffhanger! I like pie! Meeps!)

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In the famous words of M. Knight Shamalan, "What a twist!", so anyway, review or I will send a pack of homosexual dogs to rape you in the night. I like pie! Meeps! 


	8. Chapter 8

Matt here: Another short chapter, 'cause I'm working on a little sommething for the Naruto catagory, it's not part of this series, so I'd doubt you'd like it. I like pie! Meeps!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and ... why won't Brogan sign the slavery agreement? Come on, Brogan, Please? I know your reading this, because Pat is a fat ass who can't keep his mouth shut. I like pie! Meeps!

Matt: AWESOME!

There in the doorway stood Mr. T. (Fuck Ya-ay!)

Mr. T: Now, to teach all u fools about... DUEL PHYSICS! FUCK THAT! I gonna teachu fools how to shot the fuck out of things!

Matt, taking out his AK-47: FUCK YEAH!

Matt then shot a circle in the ceiling, causing a piece to fall out and kill a Ra Yellow.

Mr. T, taking out HIS AK-47: YOU FOOL! That's not how you shot a hole in the ceiling, this is how you do it!

Matt and Mr. T then shot holes in the ceiling while the students just stared in horror as several were killed and Brogan slowly slipped outside to avoid embarrassment, ah, who am I kidding, she had to take a piss.

Brogan, walking down the halls: Now, where the fuck is the john... I mean... uh bathroom.

She then came to a line of doors with various cards on them.

Brogan, examining the doors: Let's see... Buster Blader is the men, Dark Magician Girl is women, Change of Heart is Transvestites, Machine King is robots,... ah, Evil Pinata.

She then walked into the room, then ran out with a chorus of shrieks.

Brogan, pressed up against the door: SHIT! I should have gone to the one with the candy monster on it.

Brogan then went and did whatever chicks do to take a piss. (Honestly, I'm not THAT perverted.)

The lunch bell rang as Brogan exited the little pinata's room, and was surprised to see Matt.

Brogan, shocked: Were you waiting for me?

Matt: Of course, I couldn't live 5 minutes without you.

Brogan, big anime eyes: Really?

Matt: NO YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT! I'm waiting by the girls room because it's the best place to meet chicks.

Chancellor, from the men's room: UHHHHHHHH,... OH! THIS IS A BIG ONE!... UHHHHHH!... UH! THIS REAKS! ... UHHHHHH!

Matt: But,... business has been slow today,... how 'bout I get you a Duelwich? My treat.

Brogan, eyes perking back up: I'd like that.

Matt and Brogan then walked together down the hall to the cafeteria.

Matt: Uh,... I'm kinda broke, so could you pay for both of them?

—End of Chapter—

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So, how'd ya like it? Review, or I won't be able to make it laugh you ass off funny... which it wont get until the weekend, I have quite the ideas for that. MWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Ha... ha. I like pie! Meeps! 


	9. Chapter 9

Matt here: Nothing much to say, but enjoy! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and ... THIS DELICIOUS PIE! YAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYYAYAYAUGDFOGSKGVDGEDLGEKGEGRFOGDLGOEGDOI! Hiushai...ahgf! I like pie! Meeps! 

Matt and Brogan were at a table in the cafeteria, munching on duel sandwiches. Yum!

Brogan, inside her head: FUCK YAY! TABLE BY OURSELVES, LUNCH TOGETHER, NO ONE SAYING ANYTHING FOR FEAR OF MATT SLICING THEM IN HALF!

Waiter, approaching the table: 'Ello, can I get le order?

Matt: AH! A HEARTLESS!

Matt, drawing his katana: Keyblade powers activate!

Matt's katana turned into an awsome black keyblade with cool spikes and shit like that all over it, then he sliced through the waiter, ripped out his heart, and placed it in a cooler.

Matt, brushing his hands off: Another evil heartless destroyed!

Brogan, thinking: He's so hot! (Noticed my huge ego influencing this, yet? Brogan would have used cute in real life! Hehe... Bad joke, I know.)

Matt: Hey, Brogan!

Brogan, shaking off her trance: Huh?

Matt: Good, I got your attention,... Brogan,... there's something I've been meaning to ask you for the longest time, ... and it's been hard for me to say, ...being a guy,... I repress a feelings to a select four, pleasure, pain, rage, and hunger.

Brogan: Isn't it five?

Matt: For other guys, I don't do jealousy. 'Cause I'm better then everyone else! Fuck ya!

Brogan: Anyway,...

Matt: Oh yeah, Brogan, would you be my...

Brogan, anticipating: Yes?

Matt: person I trust to pass me the salt? I'm afraid anyone else might poison it!

Brogan, heart splitting in two: ...

Just the Jaden, back to normal, Chumley, and Syrus walked in.

Matt, waving: Yo! Non-gay Jaden! Over here!

The three the sat down on the, no for some reason, extremely big table.

Chumley, waving his hand in front of: Whoa, something so not licious with Brogan.

Jaden: SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING FATASS! WEREN'T YOU WRITTEN OUT OF THE SHOW!

Chumley, surprised: ... uh... CURSE YOU AND YOUR LOGIC!

Chumley then disappeared into thick air. (Hehe, lame fat joke.)

Jaden: Hey Matt!

Matt: What?

Jaden: I'll duel you for your Duelwich!

Matt, taking out a pistol: Nah.

Matt then shot Jaden in the nuts.

Jaden, holding his nuts: GOD MOTHER FUCKING DAMN IT!

Syrus, pulling down Jaden's pants: I'll suck the wound!

Jaden, pulling his pants up: Dude! That's only for snake bites!

Syrus: I knew that! I mean... uh... oops?

Jaden, now fully healed: So, you two wanna cut class for the rest of the day?

Matt: And go where? We're on a deserted island except for the school!

Jaden: ... your point?

Matt: ... eh... why not, ... you in Brogan?

Brogan: Fine...

Jaden, pulling out a plan: Good, 'cause I got a plan for the ultimate prank!

Matt: SWEET!

Jaden: Ok, the first step is to split into two groups; Me and Syrus, and you and Brogan, then...

Brogan: SWEET!

Jaden, Syrus, and Matt just starred at her. Brogan blushed and slid down in her seat.

Jaden: ... anyway,... Me and Syrus will place detonator charges here, here, and here, while You and Brogan have dinner at this romantic restaurant to avoid arousing suspicion.

Brogan: HELLZ YA!

Matt: OH! FUCK NO! I want to be the one to blow shit up!

Jaden: Fine! You and Brogan will set the detonator charges, and me and Syrus will go to the romantic restaurant.

Syrus: FUCK YA!

Jaden: Ok... uh, let's regroup after we're both done!

Brogan: So, what's the prank?

Matt, smashing Brogan in the face with the butt of his rifle: Shut the fuck up!

Brogan, nose bleeding and tears running down her face: OWWWWWWWWWWW! WAHHH!

Matt: SHIT! I actualy hurt her! Damn! If my heart wasn't a tiny black lump I would care!

Brogan, now fulley healed: I need to cause some pain, I'm in!

Everyone, with hands in: 1...2...3... BREAK!

—End of Chapter—

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Detonator charges! Yay! MWhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha! Review or I will kill your family and cut your penis off, or if your a chick I'll rape you in your sleep, if your into that kind of thing... uh... I have no response... I like pie! Meeps!

(Note: I'm putting these in because I've been ending with cliffhangers lately. I like pie!


	10. Chapter 10

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and ... just wait till next chapter, there some cool shit going on! I like pie! Meeps!

Matt and Brogan were rock climbing up to the bottom of a bridge.

Brogan, mumbling to herself: Isn't this romantic?

Matt, placing the charge: Huh?

Brogan, blushing: Nothing!

Matt then suddenly unlatched his harness and plummeted down.

Brogan, shocked: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! MATT!

Matt, pulling out a gold ting: WINGS OF TINABIE!

Matt then flew with a rainbow trailing behind him.

Brogan, eyes twinkling: Wow! (Brogan is sooo gonna kick my ass for this chapter. Hehe.)

Matt, noticing his trail: Man, that is sooo gay! I can make it better!

Matt then smacked the wings with a tuna fish sandwich, causing them to turn crimson and shoot out black flames.

Matt: AWESOME!

Brogan: Can I get a ride?

Matt, picking up Brogan: Sure!

Brogan then shrieked as Matt's arm squeezed both her breast.

Matt, suddenly letting go: SHIT!

Brogan then plummeted to the ground and crashed into a million pieces... OF CANDY!

Matt, hovering over the mess: Uh,... man,... that's gotta suck. ... Hehe,... I felt boobies.

A package then smacked Matt on the head.

Matt, examining the box: Huh, package from Plot Device EX.

Matt opened it up to reveal the remote from "Click". (As seen in theaters!)

Matt, looking down the buttons: huh, pause, play, rewind,... ah, here it is, heal injuries! (From Epic Movie.)

Brogan's body was immediately repaired and taken on top of Matt.

Brogan, hugging Matt tightly: OH THANK YOU!

Matt just hovered there as a shock of electricity shot through his body.

Brogan: Uh... Matt? ... You okay?

Matt: Uh yeah...

Little did Brogan know that she wasn't wearing any clothes and Matt was filled with pleasure, sweet squishy pleasure... now if only she was in a catgirl costume.


	11. Chapter 11 Warning: Mini Lemon

Matt here: Uh, I really should put the following in, but, It's not as bad as what I normally write. I like pie! Meeps!

**Warning:** This chapter contains mild sexual content. If you are offended b such things, you a fucking pussy, and should stop fucking reading my stories, you fucking pussy! You gonna go home to be raped by a minister you fucking pussy! PUSSY!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and... wait... he's not in this chapter.

Jaden and Syrus were eating a romantic meal at a candle lit table in the kind of restaurant you take a chick to if you want to score on the first date.

Syrus, staring into Jaden's eyes: Oh Jaden, I never want this moment to end!

Jaden, scarfing down his food: I do! This is sooo chick food! WAITER!

Waiter, appearing out of nowhere: Yes, monsieur?

Jaden: I want some more of these shrimp thingies!

Waiter, through a heavy french accent: Do you want ze un or ze deux plattle?

Jaden, full attention: DUEL BATTLE!

Jaden, pulling out his duel disk and deck: GET YOUR GAME ON!

Various Guests: HOLY FUCK! HE'S GOT A DECK RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Waiter, pulling off his mask: I accept your challenge! But I must reveal my true form,...

Syrus: HOLY FUCK! HE'S YOGI BEAR!

Waiter: What the hell? I'm still wearing the fucking costume! You're a dumbass! I'm really...

Gonzo: Gonzo!

Jaden: Was saying your name really necessary?

Gonzo: What do you mean?

Jaden, pointing at the line above: See, your name appears right in front of what you say. That whole introduction was just a waste of time.

Gonzo: Fuck... uh... Distraction Jutsu!

Gonzo then threw a shoe at Jaden's head and attempted to escape, but tripped over Brittany Spears shattered career. (That was today's cheap shot a Brittany Spears.)

Gonzo, holding his bleeding leg: OW! FUCK!

Syrus: This joke may be a little late, but, who the fuck is Gonzo?

Jaden: He's that weird machismo-addicted alien on the Muppets.

Syrus: Is that how you spell machismo? I doesn't look right.

Gonzo, shoving a long meat log up Syrus's ass, much to that homo's pleasure: Uh, ... you still wanna duel?

Jaden: Nah,... the moods kind of gone,... I guess we can't get any food since the people are gone?

Gonzo: Nah...

Jaden, looking at his watch: Shit! We still need to blow 3 hours to give Matt and Brogan time to finish their mission.

Gonzo: Hmm... want to fuck chickens?

Jaden: Hellz Ya!

Jaden and Gonzo were preforming various sexual acts toward chickens when Syrus awoke.

Syrus, rubbing his anus: How the hell was I knocked unconscious by anal rape?

Jaden, looking up from his plate: Hey Syrus! Your awake! Guess what?

Syrus, rolling his eyes: What?

Jaden: I found out this is a Chinese Restaurant!

Syrus: No it isn't!

Jaden: Yes it is! You know how I can tell?

Syrus, slightly intrigued: How?

Jaden, grinning: Because, It may look like we're eating chicken, but we're really eating pussy!

Syrus, smacking his head: Not only was that racist, it was extremely lame! (What? Chickens don't have vaginas? Uh... Distraction Jutsu!)

Jaden and Gonzo just continued laughing their asses off.

Syrus: Isn't it time to leave?

Jaden, humping a chicken up the ass: UH! OH YEAH! BESTIALITY! FUCK YEAH!

Syrus, sighing: I'll do it.

Syrus the pulled out a video walkie talkie, and noticed that the message button was flashing red.

Syrus, pressing it: What do we have here?

Matt, picture popping up on the screen: Jaden! We finished early, so we went back to the school, and, well, you gotta see it for yourself! Get the fuck over here! NOW!

Syrus, thanking god: Jaden! Time... to...

Syrus couldn't finish his sentence, because he was fixed on the cum streaming out of Jaden's cock all over that naughty chicken. Oh yeah! (There happy, I put in a mini-lemon! You sick perverts) Syrus's pants immediately tightened at the sight.

Jaden, pulling up his pants: Time to go, you say? Too bad, I was gonna let you anally fuck me!

Jaden ran out of the room, killing a Ra Yellow in the process.

Syrus: GOD MOTHER FUCKING DAMN IT!

* * *

Well, Review, and I'll put both a better and less gay lemon in the next chapter, well, this one wasn't gay, so much as beastiality, but whose counting. I like pie! Meeps! 


	12. Chapter 12 Warning: Musical

Matt here: Two chapters in one night (Not same story, but still), you better review, ungrateful jerks! Review! Except Brogan, if by some reason you found internet, you might not want to read this chapter at all, because it will cause you to want to kick my ass. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Brogan still won't sign!... Bitch. (Quickly gets ass kicked) 

Jaden and Syrus were running at full speed back to see what the big deal was. They arrived to see Matt, Atticus, Tyranno, and Brogan with HUGE erections... wait... something's wrong there.

Jaden, walking: Dude! Put those away! You might turn on Syrus!

Syrus, bright red: I'M NOT GAY!

Jaden, pointing to the bulge in Syrus's pants: Explain that then.

Syrus, covering his cock bulge: I'M NOT GAY!

Jaden, looking at Matt: Must we?

Matt: Yes, we must.

Syrus, slightly scared: You must what?

Matt: We must explain to you your gay, through the only way gay men understand things,...

Jaden: THROUGH SONG!

Matt: Atticus, Lights!

Atticus: Do it your own damn self!

Matt then grumbled as he hunched over to the light switch that turned off the sun.

Matt: How the hell does that work again?

Brogan: It's simple, the switch actually only activates energy recepticals placed at various points on the island which generate a holographic force field which, with the proper programing, can give the illusion of light.

Matt, starring blankly: ...

Brogan, shaking her boobs: MAGIC!

Matt: Much better!

Jaden: Now, play the music...

(Singing in capital letters)

Syrus: I'm not gay!

Jaden, starting to sing: Well, but IF YOU WERE GAY, THAT'D BE OK, I MEAN 'CAUSE, I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY, BECAUSE YOU SEE, IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD FEEL FREE, TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY! BUT I'M NOT GAY! Matt your up!

Syrus: Jaden please! I want to find out what they were looking at!

Matt: IF YOU WERE QUEER!

Syrus: Matt! You too!

Matt: HE'D STILL BE HERE!

Syrus: Come on!

Matt: YEAR AFTER YEAR!

Syrus: Matt!

Matt: BECAUSE YOUR DEAR TO HIM!

Syrus: Argh!

Matt: AND I KNOW THAT YOU,

Syrus: What?

Matt: WOULD ACCEPT HIM TOO! You go Jaden.

Syrus: I would?

Jaden: IF I TOLD YOU TODAY, "HEY GUESS WHAT? I'M GAY!" BUT I"M NOT GAY! I'M HAPPY, JUST BEING WITH YOU!

Syrus: Joey Wheeler is the coolest! ( cough... liar... cough)

Jaden: SO WHAT SHOULD IT, MATTER TO ME, WHAT YOU DO IN BED WITH GUYS!

Syrus: Jaden, you said you wouldn't tell!

Jaden: IF YOU WERE GAY, I'D SHOUT HOORAY!

Syrus: I'm not listening!

Jaden: AND HERE I'D STAY!

Syrus: Not listening!

Jaden: BUT I WOULDN'T GET IN YOUR WAY! Matt, your turn.

Syrus: Aaaah!

Matt: YOU CAN COUNT ON HIM, TO ALWAYS BE, BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY, TO TELL YOU IT'S OK, YOU WERE JUST BORN THAT WAY, AND AS THEY SAY, IT'S IN YOUR DNA, YOUR GAY! I'm done singing!

Syrus: But I'm not gay!

Jaden: IF YOU WERE GAY!

Syrus: Argh!

At that second everything returned to normal.

Matt: I hope your happy Syrus! That shock therapy you just had drained this fanfic's production budget!

Syrus: That wasn't shock therapy it was... wait... fanfic?

Matt: Uh... didn't up want to know why we all had erections, even Brogan!

Brogan: Actually, I was playing with a vibrator to your erection. I have no idea why you guys had them.

Atticus, pointing at a table across from: There's a new babe in the school.

There sat a girl in a winter coat slowly eating a corn dog.

Matt: She's an exchange student from some hidden ninja village, Konoha.

Syrus: So you found it perfectly acceptable to masturbate to her in public.

Matt, Atticus, Tyranno, and Brogan: Frankly Yes/ I was masturbating to Matt... I MEAN THEM! AS A GROUP! I DON'T SECRETLY WANT TO HAVE HOT SEX WITH MATT! Hehehehehe!

Jaden: Hey Brogan, I just noticed something, your still naked from 2 chapters ago!

Brogan, noticing her bear naked flesh: AH!

She then ran off to the dorm to get a uniform.

..., to herself: Whew the naked girl is gone, now I don't have to eat my lunch so slowly to avoid eye contact.

Matt, appearing right beside her: Hey! I'm Matt! You wanna have hot sex?

Hinata: I'm Hinata, and what?!

Matt, putting his arm around her: Let's go back to my room, your in Slifer right?

Hinata: Yes, but...

Matt: Good! I can show you true pleasure, like...

Matt leaned next to Hinata's ear and began whispering, causing her blush so much that her face turned bright red.

Brogan, yelling out: HEY EVERYONE! I'M BACK! LOOK A MY...

Her eyes noticed Matt flirting his ass off with Hinata, they then filled with tears. Brogan the ran off to her dorm room, not wanting Matt to see her crying.

Chazz: Hey losers! Some Homo convention or something?

Jaden, pointing to Matt: Shhh! Master at work!

Hinata, blood red with blushing: Ok, but only if you do that.

Matt, smirking: Whatever you say. Let's go to my room.

The watching crowd tried to hide their sudden burst of laughter, but failed miserably.

Hinata: Why are they laughing?

Matt: I don't know, maybe their high, either way it'd be better if we went back to my room even faster!

The two ran the rest of the way back to Matt's room, unaware of the horrors... who am I kidding... there gonna fuck like rabbits!


	13. Chapter 13 Warning: Lemon

Matt here: As you probably guessed last chapter, this is gonna be mostly a lemon. So here is the basic warning crap:

**Warning:** This fic contains mild sexual content. If you are offended by such things, then go fuck yourself.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except for Matt and... I guess Brogan.

Matt and Hinata were strolling home for a night of pure intense pleasure, but since I'm a bastard, I won't do that this chapter, gotta put in a plot. Nah, just kiddidng!

Matt: What the hell? Why was the descriptive sentence so long this chapter?

Hinata: Descriptive sentence? Chapter?

Matt, pointing: Hey look, Naruto-kun!

Hinata, hiding behind Matt: WHERE?

Matt: My bad, it was just a Ligar Zoid.

The Blue Ligar then zoomed off to do whatever they did in that series.

Matt, at the door to his room: You sure you wanna do this?

Hinata, shaking her head yes: ...

Matt: HELLZ YA!

Matt then kicked open the door, slamming it into the wall.

Hinata: So ah, what...

Matt: Oh, you, go get naked and wait in my bed, I'll be there in a second.

Hinata: Okay.

Matt then walked over and sat on the edge of Brogan's bed to hear a sobbing Brogan.

Matt, in a comforting tone: Hey Brogan, how ya doing?

Brogan, turning on her side away from Matt: I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!

Matt, laying down next to her: Come on, I only want to know what's wrong!

Brogan, moving over more: GO AWAY!

Matt, wrapping his arms around her: Ok Brogan, but keep your crying down, me and Hinata are gonna be going at it like rabbits, all night long, in and out, in and out, in and out,...

Brogan the let out a yelp as she felt something hard pressing against her back.

Matt, getting up: I'll leave you alone now, but you can join us when you feel better.

Matt, seeing a naked in his bed: Now, where were we? (You owe me Fullmetal, I don't like writing these, well I do, but they're a lot of work!)

Hinata heads went under the covers and started sucking Matt cock.

Matt, laying back: That's it,... OH YEAH!, oh, don't be afraid to use your tongue, RIGHT THERE! OH!

Hinata had a smirk, well it would be a smirk if a cyindrical object wasn't in the way, as she moved her tounge up and down Matt's shaft, seeing the waves of pure pleasure shoot through Matt's body with every tonguestroke, and feeling the empty space in her mouth fill up as Matt got harder and harder.

Matt then felt, oh, how to explain this tasteful, like he was about to blow a whole bunch of cum into her pie hole.

Matt, pleasure and pressure building up: Uh Hinata, you might wanna ...

At that second Matt blew a load of cum inside Hinata's mouth, causing her to pop her head up immediatly, leaving white liquid dripping from the sides of her mouth as she smirked.

Hinata the slowly licked the cum off her lips, her tongue slowly moving from one side of her mouth to the other, and when she had gotten every last stray drop, she gulped down the entire load.

Matt, starring at her naked breast: So what do you want to do now?

Hinata, spreading her legs, revealing he tight pink slit: Well, I did you, so now it's your turn.

Matt, thinking it over: Well,... I am hungry... why the hell not!

Matt then lowered his head down to her pussy and began his work.

(This is gonna be Brogan's point of view because I have no idea how to write someone eating pussy.)

Brogan covered her ears with a pillow to block out the noises behind her.

Hinata: OH MATT! OH YEAH! GET YOU TONGUE DOWN IN THERE! OH! OH! OH! YYEEESS!

Matt: Now that we're equal, let's do something we can enjoy mutually!

Hinata: Like 69ing it?

Matt: I was thinking more along the lines of plain old fucking.

Hinata: That doesn't seem to interesting...

Matt: I've got an idea... HEY BROGAN!

Brogan, getting up revealing her naked body: YES, MATT!

Matt, fixated on her jiggle bags: Uh... oh yeah, Where do we keep the KY Jelly?

Brogan, covering up and on her side: It's in the cupboard, next to the cooking wine.

Matt then got up to get the KY Jelly.

Hinata: Why does a teenager have KY Jelly?

Matt, grabbing the tube: Well, I use it for jacking off, and Brogan uses it for cooking.

Hinata: That doesn't sound safe at all!

Matt: She's a fucking pinata!

Brogan, hearing the word pinata, looked over to see Matt's cock fully erected. She immediately slid her hand down under the covers to finger her soaking wet slit as Matt lubed himself up.

Matt: You sure you want it up the ass? I'm ok with just doggy styling it.

Hinata: No! I'm saying THAT virginity for Naruto-kun!

Matt, sliding his cock in: If you say so.

Matt then pumped in out as Hinata moaned in pain/pleasure.

Matt, while humping: You know... Hinata... uh! ... Brogan probably... has a vibrator,... or can ...lick your cunt... while I'm ... doing this!

Hinata: OH MATT! OH! OH YEAH! OH DEEPER! DEEPER!

Matt: I'll take that... as a "no"!

Hinata: OH GOD YES! DEEPER! DEEPER!

Matt: Uh, Hinata, your gonna... have to decide... where you want me... too cum...

Hinata, rolling over( No fucking idea how she did that with Matt inside of her): Pull out, now!

Matt, pulling out: Ok, but I'm still a bit away.

Hinata then grasped Matt's penis in between her hands and placed it right into her cleavage, and she pushed her soft jiggly breast and massaged his cock.

Matt: Oh, yeah... right there... oh Hinata! OH!

Matt the cummed all over Hinata, white liquid splashing over her face and upper body.

Hinata, licking the cum around her lips off: Mmmm!

Matt, laying down tired: Ok, I'm done, you can stay or go if you want.

Hinata, snuggling up to Matt: I'll stay...

Matt, shocked by Hinata's hug: Uh Hinata, your still covered in my seamen...

Hinata: I don't care... it feels good...

Matt: Yeah, ... not on me...

Hinata: Oh... uh, you wanna share a shower?

Matt: FUCK YA!

Matt and Hinata then left too the Slither Showers, naked apparently, mainly 'cause I don't wanna have to write them getting dressed, leaving an incredibly horny Brogan to herself in a locked room. Teenage girl, by herself, locked room, incredibly horny,... she'll probably read from her bible.

* * *

Nothing much to say except review, so I'll know if I can do this again, or just load up on violence and stupid ass shit! I like pie! Meeps!


	14. Chapter 14 Warning: Plot

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Brogan is her owns herself.

Matt and Hinata were both in the showers washing up after a night of pleasure.

Matt, scrubbing his hair: Hey, Hinata, could you pass the soap?

Hinata, blushing her face off: ... uh... no...

Matt, surprised at Hinata's sudden growth of a backbone: Why the fuck not?

Hinata, pointing at the girls at the other end of the shower: The have all the soap.

Matt, walking over to the group: Yo, why you hogging all the soap?

Ginger Pubes, the leader: Your kind isn't welcome here!

Matt: OH! Just because I'm a brother you gotta be dissing me about my skin! You all a bunch of racist bitches!

Ginger Pubes: Uh... aren't you white?

Matt, looking down at his skin: It appears I am... huh... that would explain why I was kicked out of the NBA.

Ginger Pubes: Yeah, but this is the Girl's shower, dumbass! So unless you miraculously grow a vagina in the next 5 seconds, leave!

Matt then concentrated real hard on his groin, only to pass the longest wettest fart you will ever hear. Ginger Pubes and company then passed out and drowned in the water, how you drown in a shower, I don't know, I probably has something to do with gremlins.

Matt, slowly walking away: Uh, Hinata, we might wanna leave before the bodies are discovered.

Hinata and Matt bolted out of there, now fully clothed, strait to breakfast.

Matt and Hinata had just gotten their trays loaded up and saw Jaden and Syrus at an empty table.

Jaden, noticing Hinata as the two sat down: Nice! You do it in her room?

Matt, immediately catching his drift: Nope, mine.

Jaden, slightly puzzled: But don't you share a room with Brogan?

Matt: Yeah.

Jaden: YOU DID IT WHEN SHE WAS IN THE SAME ROOM?!

Matt, sipping tea: Yes.

Jaden: Um... was she... you know?

Matt, eating his bacon and eggs: Jaden, I believe we have more pressing matters to discuss.

Jaden, pulling out a blue print: Ah yes! The prank to end all pranks!

Matt, whistling: HEY! BROGAN! GET DOWN HERE!

Jaden: Uh... Matt?

Matt: What? Can't you see I'm trying to get Brogan down here?

Jaden then pointed to a Brogan rolling on the ground holding her bleeding ears behind Matt.

Matt: Good! She's here! No what's the plan?

Jaden, pointing to the blueprint: This is Obelisk Blue Girls Dorm, it is the only dorm on campus with unblocked cable.

Jaden pointed at the cable wires on the map.

Matt: So?

Jaden: They get the porn channels, so if we can jack in to their connection we can connect it to the connection for the entire school and every tv, computer, and cell phone on campus will be blasting porn non-stop 24/7!

Matt, tears falling down his face: It's so beautiful!

Brogan: Wait? Porn? What do me and Hinata get out of this?

Jaden, throwing them a Channel Guide: Check out the marathon on channel 6969.

Brogan, reading aloud: Channel 6969, Hard Core Yaoi: Inuyasha V.S. Naruto, 72 strait hours of Inuyasha, Sessomaru, Naruto, Sasuke, Rock Lee, Neji, and other favorites ramming each other's asses.

Brogan and Hinata looked at each other and squealed in delight.

Matt: Your watching that shit in Hinata's room! My tv's gonna have sweet, sweet yuri! And loads of Cat Girls.

Sgt. Tyranno, nervous: Uh,... there wouldn't happen to be a lizard to female beastiality channel, would there?

Jaden: Uh... Ch.6982 is Reptile Mania? That close enough?

Sgt. Tyranno: HELLZ YEAH I'M IN!

Matt, getting over his lesbian cat girl fantasies: Wait, what did the explosives have to do with anything?

Jaden: Duh! The bridge is gonna have to go out in order to stop any interference with the signal!

Matt: That doesn't make any sense at all!

Jaden, putting his head down: I know, but explosions are just so cool!

Matt: Ok, but how are we getting into the girl's dorm.

Jaden: Simply, we get help from someone who spends at least 99.9 of their time inside that building!

Matt: But we don't know any Obelisk Girls beside Alexis and she is apparently in this dorm currently, I forgot what season we're in!

Jaden: 2nd season, and who said anything about a girl.

Atticus came busting through the door.

Atticus: Did someone mention my name?

Matt: No.

Atticus: Uh... dang, well,... let's get this plan started! Matt, Jaden, and Syrus will come with me to hook the wiring up, and the rest of you stay here and blow shit up.

Rest of People: YAYZORZ!

Atticus, Matt, Jaden, and Syrus had just opened the door when a figure in a white trenchcoat and sunglasses stopped them.

???, pointing at Matt: Matt! My eternal rival! We shall duel to see who was truly more deserving of the title of Knight in the Order!

Matt, putting on his Order issued shades: Ok, but one question. Who the fuck are you?

* * *

Whp is the person that wants to duel Matt? Why don't the chicks get their cable blocked? How can you have cable on an island? Why is my story getting a plot? Find out all this and more in the next exciting installment of Dragonball Z! REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	15. Chapter 15

Matt here; I finally put a duel in, and some plot to what the fuck the order is, but who the hell cares about that? Anyway, read and review! Yeah, I put the key in again, there are just some people that can't take a hint. (Glares at random goat.) I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Key for reading : equals "—", cause I'm too lazy to write that with the amount of dialogue I usually have. 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Brogan.

Matt, putting on his Order issued shades: Ok, just on thing, who the fuck are you?

???, donnig a duel disk: You truly don't remember? It is I, Scarlet Shurikin!

Matt: Uh... is that some kind of code name?

Brogan, walking out of the door: Hey, what's all the ra... oh god no, not you!

Scarlet Shurikin, eyes turning into hearts: BROGAN MY LOVE!

Matt: You know him?

Brogan: Duh, he's that nerd that sat behind me in Ninjutsu 101, you know, you and Pat used to beat him up at lunch.

Matt: ... nope, doesn't ring a bell... I remember beating up a nerd named Simon, though.

Brogan: ... your really that stupid?

Matt, sticking a heroic pose: Yes! Yes, I am!

Simon, now infuriated: HOW DARE YOU? GETTING PAIRED UP WITH MY LOVE! I SHALL DEFEAT YOU AND TAKE YOUR POSITION AS KNIGHT!

Matt, shuffling his deck: Whateva, If I really cared about my position, I wouldn't just be zooming from universe to universe screwing around.

Simon: FINE! Your going down! I summon Hidden Ninja in defense mode and end my turn!

Matt, bored out of his mind: I summon... Shadow Dragon in attack mode!

Simon: Ha! That puny creature has 1000 less attack points! How can you...

Matt, ignoring him: and play Shadow Directory and I choose Shadow Alphabet Symbol "N" to allow me to play the combination of Shadow Alphebet Symbols "M" "O" and "N" which allows me to summon a second monster from my deck, and I choose to summon "Shadow General"!

Simon: Yes, but my monster has more atta...

Matt, still rambling on: I also play Sunset Nightmare, which creates 1 Shadow Token for every monster with Shadow in it's name on the field, which creates 2 Shadow Tokens!

Simon: Still, those tokens don't have enough...

Matt, not caring: I then play Binding Darkness which allows me to turn my Shadow Tokens into Shadow Slime and Shadow Soilder, and fuse them together to create Kageryu, Lord of Darkness and Yang, Destroyer of Hope!

Simon, shitting his pants: Gasp, but Hidden Ninja is a Dragon/Dark type! So you can't attack him...

Matt, still comboing because I don't like writing long duels: I then fuse the results with each other to create Kageyasha, Ultimate Dragon Paladin of the Apocalypse! I then use Kageyasha's special ability to attack your life points directly if you don't have a 8-stared or higher monster on the field that is also Dragon and Dark typed, while nullifying any face-downs you have. Kageyasha! Satanic Lance of Human Damnation!

Kageyasha then rammed a giant black flaming lance into Simons heart, causing his life points to drop to -9000. Simon's duel disk then exploded, sending him flying off into the sky.

Syrus: Uh... why the hell did he just go, to quote Pokemon, "Blasting off again"?

Matt, hitting Syrus with the butt of is rifle: Because of the shear awesomeness of my card, R-tard!

Jaden: Makes sense, well, we've got porn to eternally broadcast!

With that Matt and company went to the girl's dorm, totally forgetting any of the overall plot that had been developed!


	16. Chapter 16

Hey, just to let you know, I'm rewriting my Naruto story, so It's gonna be deleted by the time you read this. When this story is done, I'll work on it... damn,... just keep putting off my Pokemon sequel, don't I. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Key for reading: Same as last chapter, dipshits. 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in ths fanfic, except Matt and this delicious cheesecake! Yum!

Matt and company were on their way to the girls dorm, and for once, nothing got in their way at all... PSYCHE!

Matt, starring at a large moat: Uh,... this is bad.

Jaden: Why? It's just a mote.

Syrus: Have you noticed that we're all spelling moet different ways?

Suddenly, a giant Sea Serpent rose from the moyte and slapped them all with it's tail.

Atticus, while flying: Don't worry, this is how I always get here.

Matt: Seriously?

Atticus: Yup, it's kinda dangerous, but they're worth it.

Matt: No, I mean, you go to their place? Why don't they come to yours? Unless you're a...

Atticus: DON'T SAY IT!

Matt, smirking: ...Pity Whore.

Atticus, anime head inflate: I'M A PLAYA! A PLAYA! ZANE'S A PITY WHORE!

Syrus, scared shitless: You did not just dis Zane?!

Atticus: SHIT!

Matt: What?

Jaden: Zane always knows when people dis him! He'll come after them and beat the crap out of them.

Matt: REALLY?

Matt, waiting in anticipation: ...

Matt, still waiting in anticipation: ...

Matt, STILL waiting in anticipation: ...

Jaden: Has anyone else noticed we've been flying for a really long time?

Suddenly, Jaden was blasted into the water by a giant energy beam.

Syrus, eyes wide: MY LOVE!

Everyone starred at Syrus.

Syrus: Uh... I mean... uh... WTF, mates?

Suddenly, two Aussie Sheilas went zooming by.

Kelly: Did someone call for Hug Patrol?

Matt: No.

Kaddy: Did you mention an Australian word?

Matt, drawing his blade: Yup, and by the way, I didn't much enjoy that chapter of yours.

Matt, holding up his Keyblade: SUMMON!

Suddenly, Guy appeared! w00t!

Guy: The power of youth fuels the manly lotus blossom of my heart!

He then did pelvic thrust in the direction of those fucking Canadians,... I mean Australians, causing their heads to self-destruct. Yay! Death!

Guy then disappeared in a puff of youthful smoke.

Matt: Now then,... WHO THE FUCK SHOT YUGI!... I MEAN JADEN!

???: I DID!

Matt then turned to see Zane except he was all hair pointing up and blonde.

Matt: OH MY GOD! HE'S GONE SUPER SAIYAN!

Zane: Yes! Now, who talked shit about me behind my back!

Atticus, hiding behind Matt's back, how he did that in mid-air I don't know: HIM!

Zane, rushing towards Matt: NO ONE DARES INSULT THE TRUSEDALE NAME!

Matt: Uh... I insult Syrus all the time.

Zane, satanic tone: NO ONE CARES ABOUT SYRUS!

Matt, about to be hit: DYNAMIC TURTLE BEAM!

Matt then shot out a beam of pure energy into Zane.

Zane, flying away: NO! IT"S DYNAMIC TURTLE POWERS ARE TOO GREAT! Ahhhhhh!

Matt, Atticus, and Syrus then all landed on top of Jaden in front of the door to the Girl's Dorm, Matt and Atticus on top of his torso, Syrus on top of his ass.

Matt: We're here!

Atticus: The building of eternal pleasure.

Syrus, humping his ball off: Yeah,... eternal pleasure.

Jaden, crying: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! GET SYRUS OFF MY FUCKING ASS!

—End of Chapter—

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Matt here: Yup, I made a chapter during the week! I'm proud of myself! Now review or I'll never do it again! Or do it again, just to piss you off, I'm not sure yet. I like pie! Meeps! 


	17. Chapter 17

K.F.R.: Has not changed people.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and even more delicious pie! Yay!

Matt and company were at the door to the Girl's Dorm, but you would know that if you read the last chapter.

Matt, unfolding the map: Uh,... how do we get in here?

Atticus: Through that window filled with barbed wire and salt!

Matt: Who died and made you leader?

Atticus, smug look on his face: Well, I have slept with every chick here at least twice.

Matt: Doesn't your sister live here?

Atticus just starred in horror at empty space.

Atticus, running away: NEVER BE CLEAN! NEVER BE CLEAN!

Suddenly, Baiston appeared.

Matt: How the fuck?

Baiston: By my calculations, porn is very, very good, so I decided that the best course of action would be to follow you.

Matt, kicking down the door: Whateva! Whateva! I do what I want! (Bad South Park reference)

Atticus, walking back from a vicious ball scrubbing: Ah! All clean... YOU FUCKTARD!

Matt, standing in an obliterated doorway: What?

Alarm, blaring loudly: INTRUDER ALERT! ACTIVATE DEFENSE MEASURES!

Four magical vortexes then opened up and sucked Matt, Jaden, Baiston, and Atticus.

Syrus, screaming: WHAT? I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE ABDUCTED!

Alarm, eye stalk examining Syrus: Scanning,... Scanning,... No threat detected to girl's virginity, You may enter.

Syrus, red with anger: I TELL YOU I'M STRAIT!

Alarm, rolling it's eye: Sure you are, honey. There's a spa on the second floor.

Syrus, running inside: YAY!

Alarm, after Syrus left: Fag.

—Jaden's POV—

Jaden was thrown out of the magical portal onto what appeared to be a beanbag chair.

Jaden, looking around: Huh, this appears to be some sort alternate universe.

Jaden then heard some mumbling then felt what appeared to be his ballsack being licked.

Jaden, immediately getting up: What the hell? How the fuck are...

Jaden never finished his sentence because he was immediately thrown into a world of pleasure. After 10 minutes, Jaden left that room a happy man.

—Bastion's POV—

Baiston was thrown out of the magical portal, and slammed strait into a brick wall.

Baiston, rubbing his nose: OW!

He then looked around to notice that he was in the dorm's library.

Baiston, picking up a book: Finally! I get to see the knowledge of an Obelisk!

Baiston, reading the title: "How to count to ten!"

Baiston, starting to cry: Of course! Only stupid people would pay money to send their child to a high school for a card game instead of an actual school! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Baiston then ran out of the room.

—Atticus's... Atticusi's POV— (You know? Like how, instead of cactuses it's cacti... idiots.)

Atticus was flung out the laundry room. He knew exactly where this was, since his dates always had him dress in a maid's outfit for no reason when they, how he says "made love" or how they say "Masturbated with a Cocktail Weiner that did their chores for them". OH! (Note: I'm only making fun of Atticus because he's a stud in every other story I've read, so I decide to knock him down a few pegs.)

Atticus then quickly left.

—Syrus POV—

Syrus was in the spa when he heard a scary noise. He then shit all over the place, put on his clothes, and ran like hell

— Matt's POV—

Sorry, this POV was censored by M.A.X.I.M! Otherwise known as Mother's Against Xxx In Media! They're from The Handsome Blue Beast's The Oddest Birthday check it out some time.

— Universal POV—

The five running people, Jaden and Atticus were now running because they slipped on wet floors, slammed into each other in the front lobby.

Everyone: Ow.

Atticus: Anyone find the cable?

Matt: Nope.

Jaden: Nope.

Syrus: Soda.

Baiston: No, Syrus, was that soda the Japanese word for yes? Or just you want a soda?

Syrus: Soda... Me es el muy, muy thirsty.

Matt, kicking Syrus in the nuts: Ok, then we're gonna have to split up and look for clues... to the whereabouts of the cable box!

Syrus: I CALL JADEN!

Matt: No Syrus! You can't be on the same team with any guy that looks like a girl, and since I work solo, and this is an anime, your pretty much screwed.

Baiston: Come on, Syrus. You can be with me.

Syrus, looking depressed: Ok.

Syrus and Baiston then walked off in one direction.

Jaden: So Matt, you and me wanna... when the fuck did he leave?

Atticus: I don't know,... oh well, guess we're a group.

With that the group split up to find the mystical one ring... I mean unblocked cable box, to rule them all! (Bad Lord of The Ring reference.)

* * *

Another during week chapter? What is Matt thinking? He is crazy! Review and maybe I might forget to give him his Anti-Crazy medictaion!


	18. Chapter 18

Matt here: Well, I updated... f yeah, check out a song on youtube called "Creepy Doll" by Jonathan Cou... I hae no idea how to spell his name. He has some good songs, I especial like "First of May" because, well, if you check it out you'll see. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

K.F.R.- Same. 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and a Luigi Hat, that I'm wearing now! Swez-zez-eet!

Matt and company were split into groups looking for the cable box.

—Group 1:Matt—

Matt, smirking: Damn, the cable box wasn't in the last girl's cleavage, better check this one's to be sure.

Matt the enter the room to continue his "search".

—Group 2:Syrus & Baiston—

Syrus and Baiston we're examining a floor plan to decide the most logical place to put a cable box.

Syrus, pointing: What about here? The TV room? The individual rooms don't get cable, but maybe this one does!

Baiston, smacking his forehead: YOU FUCKING RETARD! I told you that 10 minutes ago! We're in that room right now!

Syrus and Baiston then tore the room apart, looking for the cable box.

—Group 3:Jaden & Atticus—

Jaden and Atticus were checking around the outside of the building for the cable box.

Atticus, looking through a bush: Man, there's nothing inside this bush.

Jaden: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

Atticus: For god's sake, Jaden! It was funny the 1st time, but the next 999 times arn't!

Suddenly, a light flipped on in one of the windows above them. The window then opened, revealing a topless Obelisk.

Topless: WHO THE FUCK IS UP AT 4:00 a.m.?

Atticus, flawless feminine voice: Just us lesbians, lesbianing it up, why don't you shake that nice rack of yours?

Topless, shacking her tits: OK! Why don't you come up here to have hot lesbian sex? We're still horny from that Slipher guy who appeared here through the security system warp.

Jaden and Atticus then ran like their lives depended on it towards that room.

Jaden, high-fiving: Dude, that was awesome! But I'm kind of surprised out at how high you voice can go.

Atticus, sly smile: You'd be surprised at some of the stuff I can do.

—Group 2—

Baiston and Syrus had just finished ransacking the room.

Baiston: Fuck! An entire room filled with TVs and it's only used to watch DVDs! Grrr!

Syrus, examining a DVD: Hey Baiston?

Baiston: What?

Syrus: Do girls like basketball?

Baiston: I guess some girls do, why else would they have created a terrible sport like the WNBA? Why do you ask?

Syrus, showing Baiston the DVD: 'Cause I found this DVD called "Best of Yaoi!"

Baiston: What the fuck is yaoi?

Syrus: You know "Yaoi", like in "Yaoi Ming" the basketball player.

Baiston, laying down on the couch: Huh, that sounds manly, pop it in.

Syrus then put the disk into the player and sat on the recliner, watching the title screen flash "BEST OF YAOI!" in big rainbow letters.

The movie then started, showing a locker room.

Syrus: See, it's about basketball, see all the players starting to change.

Baiston, puzzled: Uh, Syrus, I'm not the best at sports, but those appears to football jerseys. Think the wrong disk was put in the case?

Syrus: I don't think so, the disk said "BEST OF YAOI"" as did the title screen.

Baiston: Maybe I was wrong, but jeez, when are they gonna get to the game, all their doing is soaping up in the shower... OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING TO HIS TEAMMATE'S ASS! MY EYES! AHHH!

Syrus, just starred at the screen drooling.

Baiston, hiding under the pillow: Is it over yet?

Syrus: Yeah, they have their clothes back on.

Baiston, looking up: Whew, that was wro... YOU FUCKING LIAR! IT'S JUST GOTTEN WORSE! WHY GOD? WHY DO YOU HATE ME?

Syrus then took out a notepad and wrote at the top Try with Jaden.

—Group 2—

Jaden and Atticus were frantically looking for the room of horny lesbians that had called them up.

Jaden: WHY THE HELL DIDN'T SHE GIVE US HER ROOM NUMBER?

Atticus, running up the stairs: I don't know! Maybe she put a sign on the door or something, she was on the 3rd floor right?

Jaden: Ya, but if you count the basement it's the 4th floor.

Atticus: OF COURSE! 3 plus 1 equals 4! It all makes sense now!

Jaden: Man, this school really is for retards.

Once they got to the 4th floor they ran around frantically looking for a door with a sign on it.

Jaden, pointing at a sign that said "WARNING: MASTURBATING IN PROGRESS!": There it is! That must mean they're waiting for us!

Atticus: Alright!

The two perverted teenagers bolted for the door,... speaking of perverted teenagers, what has Matt been doing all this time?

—Group 1—

Matt was "searching" for the cable box, in the kitchen after the multitude of slaps his previous "searches" had given him.

Matt, taking out a box of Froosted Flakes: Huh, what are Froosted Flakes?

Tany the Tiger, appearing out of thin air: Ttttthhhhheeeyyy'rrrreeee food!

Matt, putting the box away: Whatever. NEXT!

Tany the Tiger then disappeared.

Matt, pullign out a box of Gagz: Uh, man, I hate doing in fic advertising but we blew our budget on that fucking song, and next chapter ain't gonna be cheap... Yum! Gagz!

Bunny, appearing next to Matt: GIVE ME THOSE GAGZ!

Matt, ripping of Bunny's testicles and eyes, then placing his eyeballs into his empty scrotum and shoving his testicles into his empty eye socket: Misguided Bunny! Gagz are intended for children!

Matt, as the gore disappeared: Uh, I've still got 20 more of these to do.

Matt then pulled out a box of Luck Charms.

—Group 2—

Jaden and Atticus then burst through the door and starred in horror at what was playing. They look at each other, then did the most manly thing in the world, screamed like little girls and hid under the couch.

—Group 1—

Matt, hearing a girly scream: AWESOME! Damsel in Distress! SWEZ-ZEZ-EET!

Matt then burst off in the direction of he scream, which happened to be strait up, accidently killing Dig 'Em the Frog in a blast of flame, and Milky Road Cloud! (Cloud type from One Piece, which I acquired legally...) He blew through the floor right in front of the door and opened it to see Syrus humping his balls off on a naked, bound, and gagged Jaden, forcing the others to be on top of him.

Matt, taking out a gun: OH FUCK NO!

Matt then shot Syrus in the leg, knocking him off, shot the ropes off Jaden, shot a molecule, causing it to explode and vaporize the TV that played that filth, and then attempted to shoot Atticus in the dick, but missed 'cause it was such a small target.

Matt: I'm not gonna eve ask, but GET YOU FUCKING CLOTHES ON! WE'RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!

Once everyone had their clothes on they all walked to the elevator and pressed the 1st floor button.

Matt, as the doors closed: Way to go, Jaden. This is the worst plan every! There's no porn here! Why would the school not block the girl's as well!

Baiston: I agree with Matt! That would be incredibly sexist.

Jaden, showing the bill: I'm telling you! The cable bill listed all these porn channels on it! And since we know someone in each dorm, beside this one, it must be here!

Matt: What about the teachers?

Jaden: Nope, teacher live in the dorms too.

Baiston: What about Alexis? She lives here?

Jaden: Yeah, I asked her a few times, but she just blushed and ran off.

Matt: Ever think that it was because chicks like to pretend that they don't masturbate?

Jaden, anime surprise: THEY DO!

Matt: I know! Guys will just go around saying it, but chicks appear to be ashamed of it or something.

Atticus: Has anyone else noticed how long it is taking to close the elevator door?

Matt: Yeah, I better get this boulder out of the way.

Matt the sliced the boulder until it turned into pancakes.

Syrus, eating pancakes: Now, all we just take a nice peaceful elevator ride, and then go back to our dorm!

At that second the elevator line snapped, sending the elevator hurtling to the ground.

Matt: You just had to say that, didn't you?

—End of Chapter—

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Wow, the Naruto opening theme is awesome! But if your not from AMERICA, you know that country that kicks ass, you probably wouldn't know this! If you did, I just made a total ass out of myself! I like pie! Meeps! 


	19. Chapter 19 The End?

Matt here: Uh, just read, I'm really getting tired of this story, maybe I'll work on my Digimon story now. Oh yeah, REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and a bag of delicious Gummi Bears! 

Matt and company were plummeting to their death when a thought crossed Matt's mind, a rare occurrence.

Matt: Hey, if there are only 4 floors, why is it taking so long to crash?

Jaden: Because... uh... Baiston?

Baiston: Well, according to my calculations, we've already fallen through 18 floors.

Atticus, gasping: That's 5 more floors then there's supposed to be!

Baiston: Yeah, let's go with that,... anyway, there are only two possibilities, 1.) There is a hidden basement underneath the girl's dorm, or 2.) We've all died and hell is to be trapped inside a mall room with 4 other men for all enterinty.

Syrus: Sound like heaven...

Matt: What'd you say Syrus?

Syrus: Uh... FOOTBALL!

No one had time to question Syrus's obviously gay remark as the elevator slammed into the ground, killing them all instantly,

THE END!


	20. Chapter 20

Psyche! Had you going, didn't I? Sorry this is so short, I wanted to finish this before Samur Champloo started!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt. 

Wait, everyone died last chapter? How can the possibly be a next one! Because It's my fucking story and I'll do what I want with it!

Matt, the Author, bless the very crap he writes, then used his awesome author powers to teleport Matt and company all out of the elevator just before it exploded.

Matt: Wow, I almost died,... oh well.

The others had not taken it so well. Jaden was in the fetal position, Baiston was humming Old McDonald, Atticus was solving complex algorisms wit ease, and Syrus had knocked himself unconscious while shitting out brown and white liquid in his pants.

???, from the shadows: So, Mr.Bond,... I mean Matt, we meet again! Now to get my revenge.

Matt: Your gonna have to step into the light, I know a lot of people who want to get revenge on me.

The giant mechanical figure then stepped into the light.

Matt: Uh,... I have no fucking idea who you are.

Dr.Crowler: IT IS I! DR.CROWLER! I have come back from the dead to get my revenge for you beating me in a duel!

Matt: But Brogan was the one who killed you?

Dr.Crowler: Your point?

Matt: Let me get this strait, you care more about getting beat in a child's card game then someone killing you?

Dr.Crowler: Yes! Now, I demand a rematch!

Matt, turning around: Uh-uh! No fucking way! I'm leaving!

Matt started to head towards the door.

Dr.Crowler, pointing out the collars on those other guys: I'm afraid you have to, or your friends die!

Matt, stepping into the elevator: Go ahead.

Dr.Crowler: I'll kill Brogan and Hinata too!

Matt, pressing the button: Whateva, Brogan's a dime a dozen, and Hinata is easily replaced by Temari.

Dr.Crowler: You won't be able to get to the unblocked, porn-riddled cable box behind me!

Matt then shot a flaming punch through the wall of the elevator and jumped out.

Matt, wielding his katana: Ok, but we fight my way! Duels are long, boring, and if you really wanted duels, you'd play the game, not read fanfiction!

Dr.Crowler: I take that is the new hip lingo the kids use nowadays, I down wit it!

Matt the lunged with his sword and slice off both of Dr.Crowler's mechanical arms.

Dr.Crowler, bleeding incredibly: Must... refuel... power ... cells.

Dr.Crowler then ate a Cuban child that he kept in a can, which caused him to regrow back his arms, with Popeye-like strength.

Matt: Curses! He has a regenerative power! I must use my secret technique!

Matt then took out a pistol an shot himself in the head. As Matt feel dying, he had regrets.

Matt: Huh, I'm dying... If I known I was gonna die I would have gotten that porn like my life depended on it.

A Matt wearing only boxers rose up from the other Matt's body, he also had a flame were the bullet had entered.

Matt, white eyes: REBORN! I will get that porn using Deathperation! (REALLY Bad Reborn reference!)

Matt then attacked Dr.Crowler ruthlessly until he was just a head on tiny robot legs, then the magic wore off.

Matt: Whoa, why am I in my boxers?

Matt, noticing a tiny Dr.Crowler scurrying away: Uh-uh-uh! No to put you in a place were you won't cause any trouble!

Matt then grabbed the head and walked over to Syrus.

Dr.Crowler: I say! What are you doing? No! Not there! Nooooo! Anywhere but...

Dr.Crowler never finished as he was shoved up Syrus's ass, never to be seen again. Matt then walked over to the cable box, and starred at it.

Matt, thinking to himself: Huh... how the hell do you work this thing?

—End of Chapter---

* * *

Yeah, Sorry about all the Reborn references for those of you who don't read the manga, which is most likely all 12 of you! Hehe,... now I'm sad that so few people read my stories... oh well. I like pie! Meeps! 


	21. Chapter 21

Matt here: Sorry this is a little late, but I have another story arc for this story planned, so it's only like half over, the reason it's late is because I have recently become addicted to the original japanese version of One Piece,... which I aquire legally(looks swiftily from side to side) Hehe... I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Brogan, who might not be in this chapter, I don't know, I write these fucking things ahead of time. 

Matt was starring blankly at the cable box as the remaining members of his group came to their senses.

Matt, looking over at Baiston: THANK GOD! Maybe you know how to work this thing!

Baiston: Well, it's simple! You just...

Baiston stared blankly at the open cable box.

Matt: What's the mater?

Baiston: Matt, this isn't a cable box, it's a lunch box.

Matt: How the fuck do you know?

Baiston: Because, instead of it being filled with circuits and wires it has a ham sandwich and a thermos!

Matt, grabbing the ham sandwich: LET ME SEE!

Matt the took a bite from the sandwich, then drunk from the thermos.

Matt: Hmmmm... I'm not sure...

Matt then ate some more of the sandwich and drunk some more of the thermos.

Matt: Maybe...

Baiston, taking away the food: IT'S A FUCKING LUNCHBOX!

Matt, snapping his fingers: Ah man!

Atticus, using his ninja powers to appear right behind Baiston: I say! What if you were to hack into the main cable connection with that ham sandwich and use the wi-fi off a laptop to bounce the signal of one of the many metallic buildings, and onto the school's electric generator to send the porn channels to all electronic devices in the school.

Everyone, amazed that Atticus had ninja powers... oh yeah, and the smart thing too:...

Baiston, regaining his genius: No Atticus! That's just stupid! But I've got an idea! I'll hack into the main cable connection with this ham sandwich and use the wi-fi off a laptop to bounce the signal of one of the many metallic buildings, and onto the school's electric generator to send the porn channels to all electronic devices in the school.

Atticus, rolling his eyes: Oh course, why didn't **I** think of that?

Matt: So... I guess that means I don't get the ham sandwich?

Baiston: Shut the fuck up!

Matt: Fine! I'll just chill with my NON-gay friend Jaden!

Jaden, just regaining consciousness: Uh... what happened?

Matt: We just saved a bunch off money on our car insurance by switching to Geico!

Jaden: Ooookkkkk, but what about Operation"Jack-Off Until the School Is Plastered White"

Matt: It's complete... by the way, who the hell picked out the name?

Jaden: Syrus.

Matt: Should have guessed... anyhow, now that the plan is complete, what were the explosives for?

Jaden: To break into the main cable building under the bridge, you mean you haven't used them yet?

Matt: Wait... you knew the cable box wasn't in here, yet you sent us here anyway?

Jaden: Yes, girl friends don't tend to like you looking at other women, let alone have wild hot sex with 10 of them at once, so it's a good idea to make up a story before doing it.(Notice the space between girl and friend? That signifies that it is a friend who is a girl.)

Matt, tears falling from his eyes: Jaden! If you weren't a dude I would hug you right now!

Jaden: That's kinda creepy.

Matt: I know, let us never speak of it again.

Baiston: Now, how are we gonna get back.

The group of horny teenage boys looked at the broken elevator.

Matt: I have an idea!

Baiston: OH MY GOD! THAT DEFIES ALL KNOWN LAWS OF SCIENCE!

Matt, looking at Baiston: You know, a guy could take that the wrong way.

Matt then shot one of his arms all the way up to the top of the elevator shaft.

Matt, now speaking Japanese: Gomu-Gomu no Rocket!

The others grabbed Matt's leg as he zoomed up the shaft and crashed through the ceiling, strait into Alexis's room. Now, this wouldn't have been so bad, if she hadn't been topless at that particular moment, masturbating to Olympic Wrestling.

Matt, Jaden, Baiston, and Atticus all got HUGE nosebleeds, for the sake of cliches.

Syrus, noticing them: Oh yeah, right!

Syrus then punched himself in the nose, giving himself a nosebleed to fit in, and not seem gay.

Alexis then opened her eyes after a series of moans, and screaming "Atticus" a few times.

Alexis: AH! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? I'LL CALL THE COPS!

Matt: Yeah, you do that and we tell the whole world that you've had sex with our brother, twice.

Alexis: Ah, touche.

Jaden, staring at Alexis's "vertical smile": So... your not planning on putting on a skirt, right?

Alexis then shrieked and kicked all four horny teenagers out of her room, the she politely shoved Syrus's face into her vagina to site them further.

Syrus, muffled: Ahhsjf! I casibn't brageoueath!

Alexis giggled then pushed Syrus out the door, slamming behind him.

Matt, drooling: Why couldn't that have been me... oh right... I did that with her an hour ago.

Jaden: What are you talking about? We've only been here for 45 minutes!

Matt: No, we've been here for like 2 weeks!

Baiston: Matt... I believe you have gone insane...er. We have only been here for approximately 42.967 seconds...42.982 seconds... 43.000 second...

Matt: Fine, we'll meet outside in 15 minutes, finish any business you've got here.

Jaden: What are you gonna do?

Matt, holding his cellphone: I'm gonna call the girls, and Tyranno, and have them finish Operation: Get All Pornography!

Jaden: We can't use that name, remember.

Matt: Right, GAP sued last time... well screw them! Hard! Up the anal cavity! With a cactus!

Everyone then put their hands in the center.

Everyone: 1...2...3...Break!

The group of boys the split up to do what normal teenage boys would do in a Girl's Dorm after dark, play checkers... I'm just kidding,... or am I? Bum bum bummmmmmmmmmmmmmm...bum.

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Well, nothing much to say, but REVIEW! Because the more you review, the more pursaded I am to update faster... What? I think it's a fair deal. I like pie! Meeps! 


	22. Chapter 22 Warning: Horny Brogan

Matt here: Sorry I took so long, but for some reason I could't upload this, but that's in the past... man... it's been so long I can barely remember what this chapter's about... oh well, remember to review, or I'll rip off your genitals and feed them to satanic bunnies. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except for Matt and Brogan, and any other non-copyrighted character that may appear. 

Matt, chatting on the phone: Yeah, so that's the plan... uh huh, go right now,... ok,... love you too,... kisses...

Matt then hung up the cell phone to be assaulted by a chorus of laughter.

Jaden, laughing so much he was crying: Hahahahahahahhahaha! Ahhh, Matty woves his girlfwend! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Atticus: Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha! Dude, I'm chicks' plaything and I don't even sink that low! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Baiston, pissing his pants: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Even I'm not that wimpy! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Syrus, laughing uncontrollably: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! You like chicks! Hahahahahahaha!

Matt, drawing his katana: SINGLE SWORD STYLE "DESTRUCTIVE DEMON SLASH!"

Matt then whirled around in a circle causing a giant shining blade of light to fly off his sword and smash all those laughing at him into a wall, breaking all their bones, almost killing them, and possibly sterilizing them for life.

Matt, sheathing his katana: You finished yet?

Jaden, coughing up some blood: Ha...ha...

Matt, pressing his wrist together: Kamehameha!

Matt then launched a huge beam of energy that hit Jaden, sending him flying so far that he actually went the whole way around the world and landed in his bunk, how he could do that when his bunk is on the bottom, I don't know.

Matt, calming down: Ok, is everyone done here, the girls and Tyranno are almost through.

Atticus, now fully healed because he's a cartoon character: Yup, just finished screwing every chick in the building, twice.

Matt, slapping his head: FOR THE LAST TIME, ATTICUS, YOUR SISTER LIVES THERE!

Atticus: Your point... oh god... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Atticus then ran off to wash his junk in holy water again.

Baiston, also fully healed: By the way Matt, why didn't Tyranno come with us?

Matt, doing his thinking pose: I don't know...

Meanwhile,... (P.S. If Brogan's reading this,... ah,... who am I kidding, I'm screwed... Not the good kind either.)

Hinata, opening the door: Brogan, we gotta ... HOLY FUCK! (Hinata swearing? This must be pretty disturbing)

Tyranno, wearing a collar and leash, dog ears, and a pair of Brogan's panties: OH BROGAN! THEY'RE TOO TIGHT! I CAN'T TAKE IT! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Hinata, thinking: This would be fun to do with Kiba... AH! What am I thinking?

Brogan, lubbing her strapon: Bad boy! Doggies can't talk! Looks like someone needs his punishment.

Tyranno: NO! I mean...

Brogan, inserting into his anus: Too late, now take it like a dog!

The second Brogan entered inside him, he could no longer, and his junk ripped through Brogan's panties, causing Hinata to scream in shock.

Brogan, noticing Hinata in the room: Uh... this isn't what it looks like?

Hinata: It looks like your having anal sex with Tyranno in a dog costume.

Tyranno: Woof! It's exactly what it looks like! Woof!

Brogan, thrusting deeper: BAD DOG!

Brogan, talking to Hinata: See, we were just... playing house.

Hinata: You don't have sex with guys in dog costumes in house.

Brogan, still inside Tyranno: Uh... Distraction Jutsu!

Brogan then threw her shoe at Hinata, knocking her out. She then noticed the note pinned on her chest. Brogan then exited Tyranno and picked up the note.

Brogan, finished reading: TYRANNO! Get dressed! We got a job to do, we can pick this up later.

Tyranno, slowly crying: You're a mean cruel woman!

Brogan, smirking: I know.

Back at the dorm,...

Matt: Huh,... why did we just stand here silently that whole time?

Baiston: To wait for Atticus to get back?

Matt: Yeah, sure, let's go with that.

Atticus, carrying a grenade with the pin pulled: Hey guys! I found an avocado, but it had a needle stuck in it, but don't worry, I pulled it out.

Matt, slapping his head: You're a fucking retard.

At that second, the grenade exploded, sending them flying towards the Slifer Dorm.

Syrus: So... anyone bring a deck of cards?

—End of Chapter—


	23. Chapter 23

Hey, Matt here: Well, we're almost done with the Get Porn story acr, and I would like to thank all my reviewers for making this my most reviewed story, but could review the others along with this too, creating a giant pile of reviews... SWEETUMS! also, this time I'm late because I've been reading the webcomic The Wotch, check it out sometime.

I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except for Matt and Brogan... what? They can't all be witty and humorous.

Matt and company crash landed outside the Slifer Dorm and went inside, sat on the couch, and flipped on the tv, but no one cares about them, this is Brogan's chapter, 'cause she's just sooo hot! Boo ya!

Matt, the Author: Damn you Brogan! Stay away from my computer!

Brogan and company were sneaking around the cable shed in ninja gear.

Brogan, kunai in hand: Now, Hinata, you go ahead an take out the guards, and me and Tyranno you blow up the door!

Hinata: Brogan? Uh two things, there are no guards, and you have the detonator.

Brogan, pressing the button: Good job Hinata! Now to hijack the signal!

A huge explosion the erupted, causing the door of the small shed to go flying in a blast of flames, slamming into a group of Ra Yellows, forcing the off the cliff into the sea where a group of sharks ripped half of the to shreds, the other half were trapped under the steel door until the drowned.

Brogan: Huh? I coulda' sworn that e and Matt placed those explosives under a bridge...

Meanwhile,...

Matt, whopping Jaden in Wii Sports: Hmm, I coulda' sworn that me and Brogan placed those explosives under a bridge...

Jaden, losing horribly: You did.

Matt: Huh...

Back near Brogan,...

At that very second the bridge blew up, killing a group of Ra Yellows that were on it.

Brogan, puzzled: What? If the bridge blew up, then what blew open the door?

Suddenly, two singed guards came stumbling out of the door as a third slowly walked out.

2nd Guard: Dude! Your not supposed to fart when I'm lighting my cigarette!

3rd Guard: Dude! Your not supposed to light a cigarette when I'm farting!

1st Guard, slamming the other two's heads together: Your both idiots! Can't you see we have a group of kids trying to break in?

Brogan, whispering to Hinata: I'm gonna distract them while you disarm them, ok?

Hinata: Ok.

Brogan, making a hand sign: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! DISTRACTION JUTSU!

Brogan then threw three shoes at the guards, which hit, causing them to become disorientated.

Hinata, seeing her opportunity: BARAKUGAN!

She then scanned the men's bodies, from top to bottom, over and over, slower and slower...

Brogan, noticing Hinata's beet red face: HINATA! WHERE ARE THERE WEAPONS?

Hinata, snapping out of her hormone-driven trance: Uh, right, there aren't any.

Brogan: What? Why don't they...

Brogan, slapping herself in the forehead: Of course, we're in Yu-gi-oh! The guards will try and stop us by challenging us to duels... God I hate this place...

At that second the guards got up.

1st Guard, arming his duel disk: That's it kids! I challenge you to a 3 on 3 duel!

Brogan, putting on her duel disk: How about I just pwn you all by myself?

1st Guard: Why? Can't they duel?

Brogan, pointing to Tyranno: He's my sex puppet...

Brogan, pointing at Hinata: ...and she's a ninja.

Guards: Whatever, it's in are favor, LET'S DUEL!

Brogan, drawing a card: Whatever, I summon a monster face down and end my turn.

Guards: We all play Night Watchman, atk. 1900 and attack your face-down! (Note: As with all battles with more than 2 people as opponents, their decks will be identical and will all play the same moves.)

Brogan: That flip summons my monster, causing his special effect to activate.

Brogan's card flipped up, revealing Sessomaru, atk. 2000.

Brogan: SESSOMARU! Use Poison Claw!

Sessomaru sliced all the attacking monsters, destroying them.

Brogan: That's not all, their attack points are subtracted from your life points!

For those of you retarded people that leaves them with 2100 life points.

1st Guard: What? But you're a chick, shouldn't you only have female monsters in your deck?

Brogan, anime vain: You fucking sexist pig, it's my turn...

Brogan calmly drew a card then summoned it, which it happened to be Inuyasha, atk. 1950. (Yes, Brogan has a Inuyasha deck, got a problem with that?)

Brogan, smirking: I play the spell card Brotherly Love. Whenever both Inuyasha and Sessomaru are on the field either they destroy each other or I pay half my life points and their combined attack total in subtracted from your life points.

Brogan's life point meter split in half as the virtual Inuyasha and Sessomaru beat the crap out of each other, causing them to take their fight onto the guards side of the field and bring them into it, costing each of them 3950 life points.

Brogan: I win!

1st Guard: Noooooooooooooo!

Brogan, now in a black skirt suit: You are the weakest link, goodbye.

And with that the 3 guards were banished to the Shadow Relm.

Brogan: Now to hijack that cable signal.

Tyranno: Why do we even have cable? We live on an island! Wouldn't it be more economically feasible to just us a satellite?

Brogan: Ooo, that smart talk turns me on! Your gonna get an extra ass raping tonight!

Tyranno: I'll shut up now.

Brogan, now serious: Good.

— End of Chapter —


	24. Chapter 24

Matt here: Well, the first half of this story is just finishing and I can se it's gonna be my bets one yet if I go by review total, so keep reviewing or I grind you into sausage and give you to a San Francisco sex shop! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Brogan. 

Matt, playing his Wii: Man Jaden, you suck at this.

Jaden, chugging his beer: You know what... hic... I don't like your attitude!

Matt, throwing Jaden another beer: Dude, just keep drinking till you're a fun drunk, not an asshole drunk.

Jaden: Whatever you say, Bud.

Jaden then chugged the beer then whooped Matt at a match of tennis.

Matt, jaw dropped: You beat me? But this is my story! Not yours!

Jaden, holding his empty can: That's right! Drink Budweiser, it makes you better at video games, unlike Miller, which sucks ass!

Matt, the Narrator: This fic is brought to you by Budweiser!

Meanwhile,...

Brogan, entering the shed: Now, to hack into the cable and rout it through a complex series of wires to bypass the porn blocker.

Hinata: Why don't we just flip the get rid of blocks switch?

Brogan: Because no one would be stupid enough to build one! You're a dumbass!

Tyranno: Uh Brogan, it's right behind you.

Brogan, looking at the box labeled "Get Rid of Blocks": I fucking hate this universe.

Brogan the opened it to reveal a lot of unlabeled switches.

Brogan, taking out her cell phone: Matt... we got a problem.

Meanwhile,...

Matt, on the phone: Ok, just a sec...

Matt then kicked Jaden off the couch and pried the remote from his hands.

Matt, pressing the search for new channels button: OK, flip the first one...

The tv immediately switched to the new channel.

Tv: Oh-eh oh-eh, Pimp my Yoshi! Oh-eh Oh-Oh-eh, Pimp my Yoshi!

Matt: That appears to be the Mushroom Kingdom Channel... Nah, keep it, the TV version of Diary of a Mad Princess is on next.

Matt pressed the search for new channels button again.

Matt: Go ahead.

The Tv immediately switched to the new channel.

TV: We're here with Frank. Frank is in debt for his house to the local shop owner for 100,000 bells. So we're gonna help him out by build him a new home. This is EXTREME MAKE OVER: HOME EDITION!

Matt: Animal Crossing channel... no,... how about you just flip all the switches at once... yes, I know I'm a genius... you let me have you right now? I should hang up and try again? Dial tone?

Matt the pressed the search for new channel button again.

Jaden, getting up, still drunk: Whoa, did I miss anything?

At that second the tv exploded because of the shear amount of data it just received.

Suddenly, Syrus came from running from upstairs, erected penis bursting from his pants.

Syrus: HELP! I ACCIDENTLY TOOK A BOTTLE FULL OF VIAGRA INSTEAD OF ESTROGEN!

Matt, calmly looking over: I see blue is your natural hair color.

Then a chain of events happened, the shards of the TV smacked into the back of Jaden's head, who, being drunk, fell over easily, his mouth landing oaroud Syrus's exposed cock, knocking Syrus into the wall, causing a table to fall on top of Jaden, traping him in oral sex with Syrus which Matt didn't care about because why that was happening one of the shards from the tv had flown through the roof, and hit a plan's ga tank, killing all on board, and causing the cargo, a shipload of big-screen TVs to fall out a land safely all over campus, one of which landing where the old TV was, and immediately turning on revealing catgirl lesbian hentai.

Matt, jacking off while on the phone:... OH YEAH, it... worked... HARD

Meanwhile,...

Brogan, on her cell: That's good... wait... your not... why I'm talking to you on the phone... that's just gross!

Hinata, with really big cute pupiless eyes: What did my Matty say?

Brogan, thinking: That he's mine you fucking skank!

Brogan, for real: That he wants us to go home straight away!

With that the three went running to the Slifer dorms to enjoy the pure porn-induced joy!

—End of Chapter—


	25. Chapter 25

Matt here: Two chapters in one night? Yes, I've gone crazy, what else is new? Review or I'll rape you in your sleep! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Brogan. 

Matt was finished jacking off to some hot catgirl lesbians when the three others burst through the door.

Matt, pants on: Hey, welcome back.

Brogan: God mother fucking damn it.

Matt: That's no attitude for someone who has a marathon of Naruto and Inuyasha yaoi to watch!

Brogan, eyes twinkling: Matt, I think I love you!

Hinata, blushing violently:...

The two horny teenager ran up to Hinata's room. (This apparently took place in Matt's room.)

Matt, looking at the TV guide: Huh, no catgirls on for a few hours... guess I'll go outside and take a nap.

Tyranno, rubbing his ass: Ya, a nap sounds good, I'll go upstairs and take one.

Tyranno started up the stairs when he tripped of Jaden & Syrus.

Tyranno, while tripping: Jaden's giving Syrus head!

Matt went outside to take a nap.

Matt, about to fall asleep under a tree: Ah... nice... day... out... Zzzzzz

Matt was suddenly awakened by a huge crash, a slight shock, and a burning smell. He looked around and it seemed that he and the tree had just been struck by lightning. This was not what caught his attention, though. Standing right in front of him was Sessomaru.

Matt: Hey Sessomaru.

Sessomaru: Do I know you?

Matt: No, 'cause you didn't appear in If I were a demon.

Sessomaru: What?

Matt: That's not the point, you can't be here, only canon characters and OCs allowed.

Sessomaru: What about Hinata?

Matt: She doesn't count because she's hot.

Sessomaru: But I'm pretty!

Matt: Ah, touche.

Sessomaru: So can I stay?

Matt: Sure, why not, and to celebrate let us do something manly, like wrestle with our shirts off!

Sessomaru: Good idea!

Matt threw off his black trench coat and flexed his muscles, ripping through the t-shirt underneath.

Sessomaru threw off his boa and shirt in one move.

Matt and Sessomaru charged at each other, ready to wrestle.

Meanwhile,...

Brogan, fingering her clit: That's it Sessy, shove you cock up Naruto's ass!

Hinata, rubbing her tits: Oh! Naru-kun's stamina is amazing!

Brogan then heard a grunt from outside and looked out the window.

Brogan: No... fucking... way.

Brogan then bolted out the door.

Meanwhile,...

Sessomaru had Matt pinned to the ground, both sweating heavily.

Brogan, in fan-girl mode: Eeeeekkkkkkk! It's Sessomaru!

Sessomaru: You! Human wench! Count him out!

Brogan: Whatever you say, Master Sessomaru!

Brogan, slapping her hand to the ground: 3... 2... 1... And he's out! The winner is...

Brogan couldn't finish because she was holding Sessomaru's hand, and she fainted right there.

Sessomaru: Uh, should we help her out?

Matt, looking at his watch: Nah, we'll miss the Kush-Lash game if we do, come on, we gotta get Jaden, Syrus, Hinata, and Tyranno.

With that Matt and company left Brogan there on the ground, went and got the others, and went to the Kush-Lash game without her.

Brogan awoke later that night to a wolf humping her face.

Brogan opened her mouth to scream. (Bad idea alert!) The wolf found an opening and shoved his wolf cock into it and pumped vigorously. The wolf left after about 4 hours.

Brogan, gasping for air: Man, this is the second worst day of my life!

Just then the clouds parted revealing a nearly full moon, brightening up the area around Brogan.

Brogan, getting up: Oh well, my special time of the month is almost here, I guess I can hold out till then.

With that Brogan went into the dorm, up to her room, and slid into Matt's bed, just to mess with him when he came back from the game, and drifted off to sleep.

—End of Chapter—


	26. Chapter 26

Matt here: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but between final exams and internet porn I haven't had much time to write. But I only have 2 1/2 days of school left so I'm hoping to get a bunch of chapters up. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and Brogan... and if anyone has read the newest Naruto manga chapters, they're awesome! They have a whole bunch of dogs! And Naruto and Hinata are paired up! Sorry, I should be actually writing the chapter instead of bragging about a pairing I'm a fan of. This has got to be the longest disclaimer I've ever had! 

Matt and company stumbled home. Matt and Jaden were drunk off their asses. Hinata was steadying Matt on her shoulder and defending herself from his constant attempts to grope her. Jaden was stumbling on his own as Syrus kept attempting to rape him. Sesshoumaru (You happy you damn perfectionists!) was playing Janken with Tyranno to decide who would get to keep the game winning Kush-Lash ball that killed the opposing team's captain.

Matt, hand currently in Hinata's shirt: Hey baby... how about... hic... you and me ditch dees loos... hic... ers and go have a... hic... wittle fun...

Hinata, throwing Matt's hand away: You now I'd love to, but when your this drunk it'd feel like your raping me.

Matt: and that's a bad thing?...hic

Hinata: Yes, yes it is.

Matt: Oh... well I'm off to... hic... bed.

Hinata led Matt up to his door, shoved him in his bed, and hurried out before the pants went flying off. The rest of the group then stumbled off to their beds, except for Sesshoumaru who never got a room, he slept outside under a tree.

The Next Day,...

Matt, stretching out his arms in a yawn: AHHHHHH! Morning Brogan!...Brogan?

Matt looked over to Brogan's bed to notice that is was empty.

Matt, picking up a catgirl magazin: Well, since I don't have pants on and I'm the only one here...HOLY SHIT! THIS HAS PINK CAT GIRLS! (My favorite color of catgirl!) Oh, and Brogan has a tail... and so do I... ah fuck, I better call Pat.

Matt, pulling out his cell phone: Yo fatass, It's THAT time of the decade, get down here.

* * *

Yeah, sorry that's so short and pointless, but it's been a while since I've actually written a good chapter ending,... you know, I probably should have added this to the end of teh last chapter insted... oh well. I like pie! Meeps!


	27. Chapter 27

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt, Brogan, and Pat.

Matt, fully clothed and waiting outside: God damn it! He has those fucking magically teleporting pants and he decided to fly here by gummi ship!

Suddenly, a colorful ship made of blocks crash landed and exploded right next to him.

Matt, getting up: And of course he never learned how to fly the fucking thing.

Pat, bursting out of the wreckage: Hey! I know how to fly a gummi ship! It's just that my hands turned into paws in mid-landing.

Matt: Paws? Don't you mean hooves? Pigs have hooves!

Pat: FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME! I TURN INTO A DOG! NOT A FUCKING PIG!

Matt, eating a banana with his opposable toes: Good thing this doesn't affect me!

Pat: YOUR DOING... ah forget it, where can I crash?

Matt: You get my bed, I'm gonna share with Hinata.

Pat: HINATA!? But this is Yu-gi-oh GX? Why is a Naruto character here?

Matt: Uh, followed me through a portal?

Pat: Dude, HQ is never gonna believe that!

Matt: Yeah, like they'd trust you over their top agent!

Pat: Matt! Shut up! The readers have no fucking idea what's going on! Your putting too much back story into one conversation!

Matt: Fine! Wanna go get wasted?

Pat: Sure, but you just woke up after a night of heavy drinking, shouldn't you have a massive hang over?

Matt, holding his head: GOD DAMN YOU, PAT!

Pat then left Matt rolling in on the ground in pain to go chill inside he dorm because he's a douche!

Pat, crashing through the window: HEY Y'ALL!

Tyranno: HOLY SHIT! HE'S A FUCKING WEREWOLF!

Brogan, coming down the stairs with a cat tail, and ears: Hey Pat, you the first one here?

Pat: Yeah, not sure how many of us are showing.

Chazz: Ok, so what the fuck is going on?

At that second, Matt slammed through the wall.

Matt: OH YEAH! I'll field that one! You see...

At that second the Kool Aid Guy burst through the wall.

Kool Aid Guy: I don't appreciate people stealing my material!

Matt: So?

Kool Aid Guy, spinning around: Kool Aid Guy digivolve to SkullGreymon!

Matt, making hand signs: Summoning Jutsu! Shadow Death Blade!

Matt the summoned a sword that glowed with a black aura and proceeded to fight off SkullGreymon outside.

Brogan: Since Matt is preoccupied at the moment, I'll explain. We are all Knight rank in The Order, the organization we work for. We're supposed to go around and protect the worlds and stuff like that, but Matt is a little eccentric in his duties. Anyway, to reach Knight rank you have to be an extremely powerful fighter. To do this we had to break the bonds of humanity to achieve maximum power, so we fused with a animal from the Chinese Zodiac. The only setback with that power is that about 3 times every decade we revert to animal form for about a week.

Brogan looked around to notice that everyone had left.

Brogan, walking outside to see Pat, Tyranno, and Chazz.

Brogan: What the fuck? You were the one who asked, Chazz?

Chazz: Well, The Chazz changed his mind when Matt started fighting SkullGreymon, that was much more entertaining then your boring explanation.

Brogan, sitting down: You guys suck.

The four teenagers then watched the monkey Matt fight off the giant skeleton-dinosaur-dohicamathingamajig.

What were Jaden and Syrus doing through all of this? We see for yourself!...

Syrus, standing over Jaden with a clipboard: Wanna have anal sex?

Jaden, wearing an orange hoodie: Mfmfmfmf Mmfmfmf Mfmfmfmfmf!

Syrus, checking a box: Excellent, Kenny Jaden down, only 5 more personalities until Transvestite Jaden and my sodimistic pleasure!

Jaden, big green ears: Good that does not sound!

Syrus, smirking as he checked off a box: 4...


	28. Chapter 28

Matt here: Short chapter, but I wanna have Matt and Pat fight before... man I love this episode of Inuyasha (I'm watching the one when Kagome tied to the tree, invisible to Inuyasha, and Inuyasha and Kikiyo kiss in front of her.)... oh right... before I add more of the Zodiac. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt, Pat, and Brogan. 

Matt had just killed SkullGreymon and everyone was on the couch when it happened.

Brogan: How the hell did you kill SkullGreymon with a mackerel?

Matt, eating a banana: Well, it's simple... (POOF)

At that second Matt turned fully into a monkey.

Brogan: Whoa, put some fucking pants on! You can't run around... (POOF)

At that second Brogan turned into a pink kitten, scaring te shit out of Matt who ran behind Pat.

Pat: Awesome! I'm gonna go dog! ...(POOF)

At that second Pat farted, knocking Matt out.

Pat, scratching behind his ear: Damn it!

Brogan, rubbing up against Matt: Meow!

Matt, running the hell to his room: OOOH AHHH AHHH!

Brogan, rolling over "laughing": Mew, Mew, Meow!

Pat then went full dog..

Pat: Grrrrr!

Brogan: MEOW!

Brogan then bolted strait into a wall.

Matt then came back from his room with a case full of collars.

Matt, putting one on: Ok, you two put one on, or I will fling my shit at you!

Brogan, tilting her head: Meow?

Matt: AHHHH! A CAT!

Matt the launched a huge amount of shit at Brogan, plastering her against a wall.

Pat, slipping a collar on: Hehe, he showed you, Brogan!

Brogan, slipping on a collar: EWWWWWWW! EWWWWWWWWWWW! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Hinata, walking down he steps: Hey guys! You seen Matt to... PUPPY!

Hinata jumped and hugged Pat tightly against her chest. Pat shot Matt a "Boo ya! I'm gonna get action from your girlfriend!" look.

Matt: Whatever

Alexis, bursting through the door: WHO SAID PUPPY?

Alexis, jumping on Pat: AWWWW! PUPPY!

Matt: Two girls, big deal!

Every other girl on campus: PUPPY!

They all gathered around him and hugged and petted him.

Matt: Yeah, enjoy it while it last. Once your human again you won't feel that many tits again unless you dip yourself in chocolate!

Pat, in the crowd of chicks: Ah yes, but I am feeling that many now!

Matt: You're a fatass!

Pat: Your point?

Matt: The original PS1 Lara Croft wasn't hot, her tits wer just too huge, the were bigger then her body for cripes sake!

Pat, growling: BLASPHAMY! A WOMAN'S TITS CAN NEVER BE TOO LARGE!

Matt, drawing his blade: Wanna fight about it?

Pat, putting on gloves... how he does that with paws I don't know: Yes! Yes, I do!

* * *

Nothing much to say, except REVIEW YOU FUCKING PUSSIES! I like pie! Meeps!


	29. Ch 29 Warning: Makes little to no sense

Matt here: I'm tired so I'm gonna make this short. I tried to make this as BoBoBo-like as possible, so if you don't like randomness **fuck you**! Also, don't forget to review! **_REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!_** I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except for the things I do. 

Matt, drawing his blade: You can't beat me, I am the master, you are the student!

Pat, putting on gloves: Teaching me how to program a VCR has nothing to do with fighting!

Meanwhile, from on top of the Slifer dorm...

Chazz: Why are we this far away from the fight? I wanted front row seats!

Brogan: Trust me, this is as close as you can get when they fight or you might get caught up in it.

Jaden: I just wish we could hear what they were saying.

Hinata, magically back in character: I...uh... could... uh... you... uh...no... gulp... help.

Jaden: Ok, get to it woman!

Hinata, making various hand signs: Summoning Jutsu! Sound Equipment Eccibuu!

In a puff of smoke a tiny white and orange hamster with a microphone strapped to his back.

Hinata: Eccibuu, go over there and record what those two are saying.

Eccibuu saluted and then scurried off towards Matt and Pat!

Hinata, tuning a radio: Ok,... here, it... uh... is.

Radio- Matt: Now Pat! You shall fall by my blade, Oooo Ahhhh Eeeee!

Radio- Pat: Me, fall by that hunk of metal? You are as stupid as you look, woof!

Brogan: Awesome! Prepare for the most hardcore, violent, and overall **serious** fight you've ever seen!

Back at the battle field,...

Matt, charging: TIME TO DIE, PAT!

Pat, making hand signs, since he's a dog I have no idea how: Forbidden Jutsu of the Canine Fist! Medusa Eyes!

Pat's eyes then switched from whatever the hell they normally are to green with black spirals.

Pat: Ha! My Medusa eye technique turns all who stare at them to stone!

Matt then stopped in his tracks as he starred into the green eyes. He then turned into a carrot.

Matt: NO! I've turned to stone! How could this have happened?

Brogan, back on the rooftop: WHAT THE FUCK?

Matt, still a carrot: I'll teach you to turn me to stone! Go Pikachu!

Matt threw a pokeball and out of it popped Gary Coleman in a pikachu costume.

Gary Coleman: Pika, Pika, What's you talkin' bout Willis?, chu, chu!

Matt, wearing a dress: EEEK! A MOUSE! KILL IT GEORGE! KILL IT!

Pat, wearing a bald wig and bunny slippers, hitting Gary Coleman on the head with a mallet: There you go, Gladys!

Matt, slamming Pat in the face with a aluminum bat, also back in regular clothes: Thank you so much!

Pat, wearing a boxer's uniform: Adrian! AAAADDDDRRRRIIIIIIAAAANNNNN!

Matt, wearing Apollo Creed's uniform, kicking Pat in the nuts: I wore women's clothes once this chapter! That's my limit!

Pat, rolling on the ground: YOU BASTARD!

Matt: Taste the wrath of my Monkey Sword!

Matt then reached into his pants and pulled out a dolphin and cocked it.

Matt, wearing shades: Adios El Pollo Loco!

Matt then shot out a stream of tiny Michael Jackson robots at Pat.

Pat, grabbing a bus of Kindergartners: No! Pedophile shield!

Pat then ripped a whole in the top of the bus, letting out a wall of 5-year olds, stopping the hoard of Michael Jackson robots in their tracks.

Matt: Detonate!

At that second all of the Michael Jackson robots exploded, killing all of the children.

Pat, running towards Matt, wearing a dress: My hero!

Matt, running towards Pat: Pat!

Slow music played in the background.

The two ran toward each other with arms held open. Then when the met they both drew swords and stabbed each other through the stomach, killing them both.

Matt and Pat were sitting in lawn chairs eating popcorn.

Matt: Man, that would have sucked.

Pat: I know, good thing that those were our clones and not really us.

Matt: Oh right, we were fighting!

Matt and Pat then ran to opposite sides of the area.

Matt, charging his ultimate attack: Feel the wrath of my ultimate attack!

Pat, charging his ultimate attack: Feel the wrath of my ultimate attack!

Matt, shooting a giant ball of black flame out of his arm: Hell Fire Death Ball!

Pat, shooting a giant ball of green gas out of his ass: Toxic Gas Death Ball!

Matt and Pat, realizing what they just did: Ah fuck...

The two giant orbs then connected causing a giant explosion forming a mushroom cloud, destroying the entire world and killing everyone inhabiting it, except Matt and Pat.

Matt, The Author, appearing out of nothing: Hey guys, just thought I pop in and see how things are ... what the fuck happened here?

Matt, pointing at Pat: He did it!

Matt, the Author: It doesn't matter who did it! You blew up the entire fucking planet! I leave you two alone for 1 fucking chapter and you blow up the entire fucking planet! Do you realize how long it is gonna take for me to rebuild all of this?

Pat: .23 seconds?

Matt, the Author: Yes, but that's not the point, it's the principal of the thing! Now apologize and get me a cheesecake and then I'll rebuild the world.

Matt and Pat: We're sorry.

Matt, the Author: Now where the fuck is my cheesecake?

Pat: The earth is gone, where are we supposed to find one?

Matt, the Author: That's not my problem.

Pat: Damn it!

Matt: Wait, I have an idea!

Pat: It's a miracle!

Matt: Shut the fuck up!

Pat: Fine, what is it!

Matt the whispered the idea to Pat.

Pat: Why not, plans more retarded then that have worked.

Mat and Pat, mirroring each other's movements: Fu-sion... HA!

Matt and Pat then fused together to form The Mattrix.

The Mattrix: Now to use my cheesecake-making powers.

The Mattrix then made a cheesecake so delicious that if a sane human ate it their head would explode.

The Mattrix, giving Matt, the Author, the cheesecake: Here!

Matt, the Author, eating the cheesecake, snapped his fingers and the world instantly reappeared and everyone came back to life.

Matt, the Author, then disappeared into thin air.

Matt and Pat then raced back to the dorm because fusion always gives them explosive diarrhea.

Matt, exiting the toilet: Ah, much better.

Syrus, pushing Matt out of the way: Gotta pee, out of way!

Syrus took one step inside the bathroom and slipped, falling face down on the floor.

Syrus: Yum! This room is covered in chocolate!

Matt the sat in the recliner and Pat attempted to lay down on the couch, but was kicked by Sgt. Tyranno because dogs weren't allowed on the furniture.

At that second and horse with a tiger cub riding on it's back, crashed trough the window.

Matt: Do you remember who turns into the horse and the tiger?

Pat: Nope.

Matt: Shit, this is gonna be painful.

— End of Chapter —


	30. Chapter 30

Hey, Matt here. Yeah, this arc is only gonna last a few more chapters, then I'm gonna put in one lasts bit, then strait to my Naruto remake, then with the Pokemon sequal or Mystry Dungeon one, it doesn't really matter. And by the time all of that is done with, Brawl should be out so I'll beat it then make my Smasher sequel. That's my plan, anyway. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and the other things.

Matt and Pat were just gearing up for the dramatic fight against the intruders, a tiger cub and a horse.

Matt, drawing his blade: Whelp, if you want to live, surrender peacefully!

Tiger Cub: Ok.

Matt, running towards the two: DDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Pat, grabbing the back of Matt's coat: Calm down, they surrendered.

Matt, moping in the corner: Aw, I wanted to fight...

Pat: So, who are you?

Tiger Cub: Duh, it's me, Mike the Crazy Asian!

Horse: And me, Jonah the Reaper of the Masses!

Matt: Don't you mean Jonah the Raper of the Asses!

Everyone except Jonah then burst out in laughter. (Note: That's an inside joke because we have firm evidence that he is a closeted homosexual.)

Jonah, sarcastically: Hahaha! Me and my 8 inch cock find you hilarious!

Matt and Pat: 8 inches? Isn't that kind of small for a horse?

Jonah: No!... God damn mother fucker!

Matt: Whatever, making fun of Jonah has gone on long enough, let's just... watch... some... t... v...

Matt just stood still drooling as he looked out the window.

Pat: Hey Matt, watch ya... looking... at... HOLY SHIT!

Matt and Pat, drolling out the window: Those curves,... that sleek surface,... those fuzzy dice,... IT'S THE MACH FIVE!

Matt then picked Pat up and threw him through the window, then grabbed Hinata and jumped outside and into the car's trunk.

Hinata, blushing madly, still in character: Uh... Matt... uh... what's... uh... going on?

Matt, speed lines behind him, not moving at all, and wearing a candy-cane striped jumpsuit: Hoo-hoo, ha-ha! We must stow away in the Mach Five to help Speed if he gets into trouble! Hoo ha heee!

Hinata: Uh... Matt... thats... uh... a cartoon... it... isn't real.

Matt, back to normal: Your one to talk.

Hinata, back out of character: I'm an anime character, and hot. I'm exempt from that rule.

Matt: Fine, let's get out of the trunk and steal the car.

Matt and Hinata then climbed out of the trunk and Matt began to hot wire the car.

Speed, appearing right behind Matt: Ah! A monkey is car jacking me! Hoo ha heee!

Matt: Go Go Gadget: Kill a famous anime character to steal his car device!

Matt's arm then turned into a blue cannon, which he used to shoot out a beam of blue energy, disintegrating Speed, causing his keys to fall onto the ground.

Matt, picking up the keys: Awesome! Lets go joyriding!

Hinata: Where? We're on an island, remember.

Matt, throwing her into the passenger seat: It's the Mach Five!

Matt then put on his Order-issue sunglasses and floored the car straight off a cliff.

Matt, pressing Button F activating the Underwater mode: Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhooooooooo!

Matt and Hinata the drove Underwater for about 30 minutes, and Matt may or may not have gotten a blowjob...

---End of Chapter---

* * *

Yeah, sorry to end it halfway done, but I'm tired... fine, I found a new catgirl hentai site! Jesus! Why do you all have to judge me! I only judge you based on nationality, then mock you for it... hehe, 'ow ya doin', eh... hehe, shrimp on the barbie, mate... hehe, ya, vee have ze vienersnitzel! I like pie! Meeps!


	31. Chapter 31

Matt here: Just review, and yes, next chapter the Chinese Zodiac bit ends and the last part begins! W00T! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, if I did I would have enough money to engineer a Hinata clone and I would be fucking her instead of writing this crap. 

Matt and Hinata were driving down the highway... on the left side of the road... and the were in America... going 150 mph... that's like... 250 kph for the Canadian, Australian, British Person, and German that read this piece of shit story.

Hinata: Huh... don't you think your going a bit to fast?

Matt, wearing his Order-issue shades: I don't know, I can't see a damn thing through these sunglasses.

At that second a car went speeding off the road, bursting into a giant flaming crater, alerting a nearby police officer.

Hinata, noticing the cop: Matt... you should... uh... pull over...

Matt: Your right. It looks like the guy behind us wants to pass.

Matt made a sharp left turn, causing him to spin around and knock a bus full of nuns of a cliff to a fiery death.

The police officer walked up to the window and the spat out his chewing tobacco.

Cop: Hey boy! Ya know how fast you was goin'? (Yeah, I always give Police Officers southern accents for some reason.)

Matt: Don't know. With these glasses on I'm legally blind. She was supposed to be my eyes!

Hinata shot a angry glare at Matt.

Cop: That pretty little thing? Why, how can she see a thing? She ain't got no pupils?

Matt: ... ah touche.

Cop: Anyway, I'll be needin' ya license and registration.

Matt: Oh yeah, well, this vehicle is stolen, but here's my license.

Matt then handed over his tiny plastic card to the police officer, leaving him wit a puzzled look on his face.

Cop: Hey, this ain't no drivin' license, it's a license ta kill!

Matt, an evil grin on his face: Exactly.

Matt then pulled out a pistol and shot the officer in the center of the head, driving away before the body could hit the floor.

Hinata: Did you really have to kill him?

Matt: No, but it was fun. Anyway, where do you wanna go?

Hinata, throwing her clothes off: WILD SEX PALACE!

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Matt, the Author, typing on his laptop: What the hell?

He then looked up to notice Naruto had just unplugged the Internet cable, with Hinata standing behind him.

Naruto: That's enough! I've allowed you to write Hinata out of character for a lot of times, but this is where I draw the line! We're not gonna let you do that! Are we, Hinata?

Hinata: ... No... Naruto...

Hinata then fainted from the shear joy of Naruto talking to her.

Naruto, picking Hinata up: Great, now I have to take Hinata to the hospital! Just don't write stuff like THAT ever again, ok?

Matt, the Author, holding up his right hand: Scouts Honor!

Naruto and Hinata the disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Matt, the Author, smirking: I got kicked out of the scouts.

Asufgbhsakfjbsfhasbvbfhvfsakjbsdkhb Load Successful. Returning to Fanfic Already in Progress.

Matt: So, where you wanna go, Hinata?

Hinata: ... I well... uh... would... uh... like... uh... some warm weather clothes.

Matt, crashing through a mall's door: Clothes Shopping it is!

At the store,...

Matt was banging his head against the wall as Hinata placed different "shirts"(I think you can call what I'm thinking of that, but I'm no master of Women's Clothing, just the removal of it.) in front of her to compare.

Matt, bored out of his skull: Why did I agree to this?

Hinata, holing two outfits: MATT! Pay attention, now, which one do you like better? The gray one or the blue one?

Matt, holding up an empty hanger: I'd really like to see you in this one.

Hinata: Matt, theres nothing on that one.

Matt, smirking: I know.

Hinata then 64-palmed his ass through the window off the store.

Matt, brushing himself off: I'M FREE! Now to a teenaged boy's favorite store in a Mall!

Matt the ran strait past the arcade, food court, and free money hamper, and into Victoria's Secret.

Matt, breathing a deep gulp of air in: Ahhh! I love the smell of ladies' undergarments in the morning!

Sales Lady: Excuse me, are you shopping for a girlfriend or relative?

Matt: You really have that many people buy lingerie for a relative?

Sales Lady:... I see your point. Anyway, we are currently having a sale in which all are bras and panties are 25 percent off.

Matt: I'd like it better if they were 100 percent off.

Matt then got tossed out of Victoria's Secret.

Matt: Drat, I'll need another to get my chick craving over with for the day...

A light bulb then popped above his head.

Matt, making handsigns: Chibi no Justu!

Matt then turned into a chibi version of himself, causing the light bulb above his head to fall and smash into his head, causing it to bleed furiously.

Matt went running around until he was found by Mall security and brought to the security office.

Meanwhile,...

Hinata, thinking, holding her outfits: You know, I could probably use my ninja skills to steal these.

Loudspeaker: Will Hinata Hyuuga please come to the security office, your son is here!

Hinata: I don't have a... god damn you, Matt

Hinata then used the transportation jutsu to get to the security office.

Receptionist: Hello, how may I help you?

Hinata: I'm Hinata Hyuuga, I'm here to claim Matt.

Receptionist, examining the 12 year old's body: My, my, teenage mothers just keep getting younger and younger. I doubt you've even had a period, judging by the age of that child.

Hinata's face turned bright red from embarrassment just as Chibi Matt was brought out.

Chibi Matt, running over to Hinata's legs: Mommy! Me want milk! Me want milk!

Hinata: Huh?

Receptionist: Well, aren't you gonna breast feed you child, or should I call child services and have you arrested?

Hinata, thinking, unbuttoning her top: Oh Matt, you are so gonna get anally raped for this.

Chibi Matt the jumped up at started suckling her firm, huge, tit.

Meanwhile, back at Slifer dorm...

Mike: Hey Pat, where'd Mike wander off too.

Pat: Well, according to the micro camera I placed in Hinata's cleavage, he's breast feeding.

Mike: Huh... I'm hungry, I'm gonna make some Orange Chicken, where'd Brogan run off too. (Remember she's a cat.)

Brogan, now human and naked: Hey, who said my name?

Pat: Holy shit!

Mike: Hey! Don't talk to my girlfriend like that!

Pat: Aren't you broken up this week?

Mike: Ah fuck... hey wait, your not a dog anymore, you appear to be some variety of hairless blue whale.

Brogan: No, that's how Pat looks naked.

Mike: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAhAhHAHHAHAHAHHA... wait, how do you know what he looks like naked?

Brogan: We did it once.

Mike: But we're a couple and we've never had sex!

Brogan: Yes, but I only like your personality. Since your Asian I know you are incapable of satisfying a woman.

Mike: But you said size didn't matter!

Brogan: Well, It does, but there are more important things.

At that second Jonah walked out.

Brogan: like how I just did Jonah, notice the tiny cock, but since he's gay he knows exactly how to please a woman.

Mike: God damn it! Just go die, bitch.

Brogan: Fine, be like that, then I won't give you a blowjob.

Mike: God damn it!

Mike then stormed off to the guest room, when he fell through a hole in the ground and landed on top of a mass of people.

Jaden: Hey man! We've been stuck down here for the last few chapters! Go get help!

Syrus: Yeah, quick!

Chumley: Yeah, this is totally not licious!

Jaden: For the last fucking time, Chumley! YOU ARE NO LONGER PART OF THE SHOW! GO THE FUCK AWAY!  
Chumley the disappeared into fat air.

--- End of Chapter ---


	32. Chapter 32

Matt here: FINALLY! THIS FUCKING STORY IS OVER! Yeah,... this would have been up sooner, but... I found Hinata in cat coustumes... I have a problem...

Oh, and apparntly I got this story into a C2 about romantic comedys... anyone have any fucking idea how that happened?

I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except that Zabuza looks like M.C. Hammer! 

Everything was exactally as it was at the end of last chapter.

Later that night...

Chibi Matt hoped into bed after an afternoon and poofed back into Matt.

Matt: Finally, that fucking jutsu wore off. I hope I didn't have sex with some fat pedophiles again.

Matt's eyes slowly drifted to the calender... ON BROGAN"S BREAST.

Matt: IT'S THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!

Matt then ran strait through the wall, forgetting that he was on the second floor.

After he awoke in the infirmary, Matt then ran the rest of the way to class, killing a group of Ra Yellows along the way.

Mr.T: I pity the fool who doesn't watch the final duel of the year. The two duelist for this year are ... Jaden Yuki, and ... Syrus Trusdale!

Syrus, jumping up in glee: FLAVA FLAVE!

Mr.T: I pity the fool who just said that, you just lost your chance to duel!

Syrus: GOD DAMN IT! I wanted to duel with Jaden to prove to him that I am worthy of his love!

The entire class turned and starred at Syrus, creating an awkward silence that was broken as Matt broke down the door.

Matt: WARRIORS!!! COME OUT AND PLAY-AY!

Mr.T: That was the best movie reference ever! You get to duel Jaden! This duel'll be good for the children!

Matt: Sweet! Nothing can ruin this day!

Hinata, taking out a summoning scroll: Summoning Jutsu! Homosexual Dog Pack!

Suddenly, four dogs with huge erections appeared and Sesshomaru appeared behind them.

Sesshomaru: Stupid wench! I have told you several times I am not gay!

Hinata: Fine. Sic 'em both, boys!

They dogs then chased Matt and Sesshomaru out of the room and off a cliff. They were procedly anally raped by the pack of dogs, along with Syrus, but he did it for his own sick pleasure.

5 hours later,...

Matt, duel disk in hand: Whew, good thing we climbed up that cliff and killed those dogs... I mean sent them to live on a farm... in San Francisco... where their kind belongs... what... I'm not taking that back...

Jaden: Get your game on!

Matt: Wow, besides Naruto's "Believe it!" that was possibly the worst catchphrase I have ever heard.

Jaden: Whatever! I summon NeoSpacian Aqua Dolphin in Defense Mode! I then throw down a face down and end my turn!

Matt: I play the card Shadow Directory, which allows me to take Shadow Alphabet Symbol "P" out of my deck and into my hand. I then play Shadow Alphabet Symbols "P", "W", and "N". This combo allows me to summon two monsters from my deck, take two spell cards out of my deck, and forces Hinata to give a blowjob.

Hinata: WHAT? No it doesn't!

Matt, holding out the card: Yes it does, right here!

Hinata then grumbled for a bit the proceeded to give Matt a blowjob.

Matt: I summon Kageryu, Lord of Darkness and Yang, Destroyer of Hope and I attack your NeoSpacian Aqua Dolphin and your life points!

Jaden: That activates my trap card Negate Attack.

Matt: Well,... your Aqua Dolphin is destroyed and I end my turn!

Jaden: I start my turn by drawing a card, then...

Matt: I PLAY BINDING DARKNESS!

Jaden: YOU CAN'T PLAY A SPELL CARD DURING MY TURN!

Matt: Ah, you forget, this is the Yu-gi-oh anime, the rules of the game mean nothing here!

The spell card then shot out two black bolts of energy, tying the two monsters together, forming Kageyasha, Ultimate Dragon Paladin of the Apocalypse.

Matt: Kageyasha! Hell Fire Lance!

Kageyasha then hurled a lance covered in a flame as the darkest pit of the human soul into Jaden, depleting him of the rest of his lifepoints.

Jaden: Woah... well, I guess now that this is over we get to go home for sumer break.

Jaden then ran through a wall,... killing a group of Ra Yellows along the way.

Matt: Well, I guess I better say goodbye to Alexis's boobs.

Hinata shot a glare at his direction... which was straight up!

Matt: Wait, I mean, I've got to say good boobs to Alexis.

Hinata's glare strikes again.

Matt: Wait, I mean, I've got to say goodbye to Alexis.

Hinata nodded in approval.

Matt: Wait, I mean, I've got to shove my face into Alexis's cleavage,... that's what I meant.

Matt then left an angry, sperm-covered Hinata on her knees. (That's right, let that image soak into your heads.)

Matt was ransacking the Ra Yellow Dorm.

Matt, shotting through a crowd of Ra Yellows: Alexis! Where are you?

Baiston, crawling due to his leg being blasted off: For the 5th fucking time! She's an Obelisk Blue, but during the second season she moved into the Slipher Red dorm!

Matt: You should have said that in the first place!

Baiston: I did! And you shot my legs off because of it.

Matt then ran out of the dorm by crashing through a wall, throwing a live grenade behind him for no apparent reason.

Matt then ran strait to the Slipher Red dorm, only to stop as the sounds of moaning teenagers filled the air.

Alexis: Oh yes! Oh... oh... OOOOHHHHH! HARDER! ... HARDER! ... OH YES... CHAZZ!

Chazz: Oh yeah! Let's Chazz it up!

Matt then immediately vomited at the catchphrase he remembered Jaden had said earlier.

Matt then ran and gathered up everyone he was traveling with... which was quite easy since they were all in the living room.

Matt: Ok, we all new this day was coming... The Order finally figured out that this world is completely useless for domination. So I have new orders to go to a different world that doesn't suck ass in fighting.

Jaden: Hey! Playing a child's card game to save the world is a perfectly cool way to, I'll just shut up now.

Matt: Now Sesshomaru, your gonna have to go home. The place we're going already has a psychotic, pretty-boy trying to kill his younger brother, and he's even eviler than you!

Sesshomaru: WHAT? No one is eviler than me!

Matt: He killed everyone even related to him after killing his best friend to gain the ultimate power of his family's secret technique.

Sesshomaru:... well, I'll just have to kill him then.

Brogan, jumping on top of Sesshomaru: Anywhere my Sessy goes I go!

Matt: I WORK ALONE!

Pat, holding up the orders: It says here that both Brogan and Me are to accompany you, to make sure you don't do something incredibly retarded.

Matt, juggling flaming chainsaw, piranha tanks, and a jar of highly corrosive acid: What?

Pat: Uh... nothing, ... huh? I've been promoted to Knight? How did that happen? ... oh, It appears Johna died.

Matt, droppig the things he was juggling: Oh my god it hurts!

Johna: What are you talking about? I'm right here.

Matt: THE PAIN! THE PAIN!

Pat quickly summoned his zanpakuto, Sabakusame, and sliced Johna in half, gaining him 250 xp!

A white box popped up with Pat in it.

Pat, wearing Shinigami robes: What the hell is going on?

Wordbox: Pat is evolving! Dun, dun, dun, dunnnnn... Congratulations! Your Pat has evolved to Knight Rank. Pat has learned... "Ban Kai"!

Pat: Sweet!

Matt, magically healed: Awesome! I want to evolve to!

Mike: Heh! What's up?

Matt then slashed Mike in half in one quick strike.

Matt, looking around: Guess it doesn't work on Asians.

Brogan: You just killed my boyfriend!

Matt: Shut up, bitch, or I swear I will rape you anally, then vaginally, then orally, then in the ear, then anally again!

Brogan: ...

Sesshomaru: Hey! Where the hell is the wetness coming from?

Brogan, jumping off Sesshomaru's back: Sorry, that was me.

Everyone just starred at her.

Matt: Oooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkk... let's just go now.

Matt the space bended a whole in the air, which he, Pat, Hinata, Brogan, and Sesshomaru jumped through. Matt the poked his head out and dropped a live grenade behind him.

Matt, leaving: So long, losers!

The grenade then exploded, causing everyone to lose either an arm or a leg. Chazz came down the stairs with Alexis under his arm.

Chazz: Hey losers, we ... miss... anything... good... HOLY SHIT!

* * *

Yo,... storys over,... go away... fine, review then leave! Please... just leave! Go away! NOW! 

I like pie! Meeps!


End file.
